How does someone in your culture behave if they have good manners?
Thanks, @tripode for the idea from your 30 day blog challenge (part 4).
I live in the United States. My father was in the military and so was his dad, and his, and his, and so on. My mother's dad was in the military, and so was his dad, and so on and so on...not all of them, but there were definitely plenty of military and police folks in my background. With this, the good manners I grew up with were most likely influenced by his ideals. Emily Post was a great influence to my dad and therefore, my upbringing...though I know I've strayed from many of her teachings.
Eat with your right hand predominantly.
My dad always got onto my left-handed siblings for eating with their left hands. It was not polite to eat with your left hands. As soon as my siblings left my parent's home, they got to eat without the dictatorial pressure of eating with the right hand only. Besides, when I lived in Europe, I felt I learned to eat with both hands in a very polite manner where the left hand handled the utensils on the left and the right used the utensils on the right, specifically the fork on the left and the spoon and knife on the right sides of the plate.
Hats off inside the house
I'm pretty sure this was inspired by the military. My dad never seemed to wear a hat anyway, but there was a hard fast rule that we were to never wear a hat under a roof. I don't live that rule any more. I feel it a great freedom to wear a hat where I want. I will still occasionally take off my hat in certain buildings. For instance, there are places that I consider holy where I will not wear a hat...another part of my culture.
##Look people in the eyes
In my culture, it is a sign of respect to look someone in the eyes when you're speaking to them or they are speaking to you. It shows you're giving them your full attention. I know there are some cultures where this is not as accepted. However, there are times in my culture, when if you look someone in the eyes, it can be disrespectful at worst or unpleasant in many instances. For instances, if you're driving and stop at a stop light, you may want to look at the other drivers. If you look at someone in the eye, it's common to look away quickly or to give a nice smile and nod, followed by looking away. Also, looking someone in the eyes as a habit will keep a young man for looking at other parts of a young lady's body, etc.
Please and Thank You
Though it seems to be diminishing within my culture, it is still regarded highly for someone to show gratitude by saying, "Thank you" after receiving something or to ask with a "Please" to show submissiveness and humility (even if we aren't thinking that's what it is at the moment). I've started to hear more, "I want ..." in my culture, but the good manners come in to play when someone says, "May I have...., please."
Shaking hands
Prior to covid-19, shaking hands was common place when meeting new people. It is getting a comeback, though fist bumps seems to be the preferred method when meeting someone for the first time or when leaving a conversation. It is good manners and in good faith to shake hands when you've come to an agreement in business. It shows you have trust, in my culture, that you both will hold your end of the bargain/agreement.
Opening the door for a Lady/Woman...the disabled or elderly...
Even though the media would have you think that men should not open doors that "women are capable of opening on their own," or that "disabled people just want to be treated like everyone else," the reality is that it is still good manners to provide the gesture. I have opened the door for my wife countless times because I want her to have the least burden possible. I know she's capable, but I also want her to know that I want to serve and please her. These are good manners that I hope never go away.
Sir and Ma'am
I grew up in the southern United States. If I said anything but Yes, Yes, sir, No, No ma'am, my coach would make me run laps after asking if I was a dog (yip! or yup! was common to say "yes" where I grew up). With so much military in my background, it only made sense to give honor to my elder when addressing or acknowledging them.
Wiping feet before entering
Some cultures vary greatly here. In my culture, for the most part, you keep your shoes on inside the house. You should wipe your feet before entering as a good gesture that you're not bringing in any dirt, but you keep your shoes on. In some parts of my world, some friends/family have people take off their shoes...they usually have white carpet.
#Clearing dishes after a meal
When getting together as a group, it is good manners to offer to take someone else's plate when they are finished and to rinse the plate off before placing it in the sink/dishwasher on behalf of the person from whom the plate was taken. This is an act of service and humility and often regarded as a gesture of a very good upbringing. Usually, this is done by the host/ess or their family, but it is also acceptable by those who are guests...though they can often be denied and have the host/ess take their plate instead.
Waving hands
I was waving at people while I was driving down the road. My wife asked me, "Do you know them?" I said, "No." She thought it odd. Where I grew up, you waved at most everyone as long as it was an occasional person. If there were tons of people you wouldn't, but it was commonplace to wave at one or two people walking down the street opposite of where you were going just as a pleasantry. This would be whether you were driving or walking. In either case, it was good manners to acknowledge the person/people across from you and exchange a friendly smile.
Tipping
I have lived in Portugal and visited Australia. Americans are known for tipping, and not just waiters/waitresses. In my culture, if someone serves you and they gave you service above what you would expect, you'd give them more money than what it cost to buy the food/service. There are certain amounts known to Americans to be a standard...like a tax we give ourselves, but to help our fellow man directly. For instance, if I'm in a restaurant, I may give between 15-20% of the food bill to the waiter/waitress for their service. It some parts of the country, it is so commonplace that the service person's wage is below the minimum it is allowed to be otherwise because it is expected that they'll make up the difference through tipping. Now, if I'm doing all the work myself, like if I go into a fast food place and I have to stand in line, place my order, pay at the line, then go back up to the counter to get my food, I don't tip. What'd they do for me to deserve it? I use tipping as an extension of my gratitude inversely related to how much I had to do in the relationship-the less I had to do, the greater the tip.
There are so many other things that one does to have good manners in my culture...like not chewing with your mouth open, not talking with your mouth full, waiting for someone else to finish their thought before speaking your thoughts, etc.
I'm curious if your culture has you do the opposite of any of these...do you have something that I may find unique to your culture?