I had this ex who always came to me for financial assistance, and even when I didn't have much at the time, as my salary was barely above minimum wage, I still tried to send him some money at the end of the month once I got paid.
As inconvenient as that was, I tried not to overthink it, as he is someone who was good to me for the duration of our relationship.
But then there is a limit to what one can take, and there is something about some people and wanting to take advantage of you. He became persistent, and seeing how I never failed in assisting him financially, he brought his infant son into the picture with a touching story.
According to him, he wasn't aware of the child till he was born. He went on to claim that the mother kept the pregnancy from him as they had ended things. The situation became worse because the girl wasn't earning, nor did she come from a place of wealth. My ex was also struggling, and before I knew it, the whole responsibility was on me, and I couldn't meet up with my own financial obligations.
In a short while, I started accumulating debt, and I knew that I needed to evaluate my financial priorities. So what I did was that once I received my pay, I first sorted out my financial obligations before attending to my ex's needs. The problem started when I could no longer meet up with the monthly payment that I send to him, but I still tried to assist him with some finances once it involved his baby.
Soon, the baby fell ill, and he reached out to me. I was flat on cash, of which I told him, but he wasn't having it, as he kept pushing that I was his only hope.
I promised to see what I could do for him, after which I asked a few friends for some cash, hoping to pay them back at month's end, but they too had nothing to spare.
While I contemplated the situation, I realized that it would be foolish of me to give him the money I was surviving on. So, when he called the next day, I told him I couldn't come up with anything, and he got angry.
Next, he played the emotional blackmail card, reminding me of all he had done for me in the past without hesitation. Not only that, but he went on to say that he knows me very well and that if I wanted to help, I would have. His utterances pissed me off, so I ended the call.
After that call, it felt like a heavy load was taken off my shoulders. I was relieved because I knew, given how he reacted, he would never get any assistance from me again. The thing is, I am not one to lead people on with false hope/promises, and the fact that he was rude to me for the one time that I couldn't help was just unacceptable.
I understand that people often act or react due to frustration, especially when their hope gets dashed. But if there is one thing that has helped in sustaining my relationships with people, it is realizing that even the rich have their own challenges to sort out.
Severally I have had my hopes raised and then nothing to show. I have had someone promise to help me with a government job; I even paid for the job slot and still didn't get it.
How about when I tried out for the military, and despite passing the exams, the military personnel who promised to help me get the job couldn't help out?
As painful as those moments are, I try not to be angry at the people who failed me. Basically, I believe that a promise broken today can be redeemed tomorrow under different circumstances. This is on the ground that I do not let my emotions get the best of me and react out of frustration.
While there are mischievous people who take advantage of others with false promises, there are also people who genuinely want to fulfill their promise, but unfortunately, life might not be generous enough to give them such opportunities.
