Published via Ecency

The initiation of a medicine woman or man is not pretty.

Many of us...all of our lives... have been taught to suppress who we are and the medicine we came here to bring.

Some of us "initiates" have been callously and ignorantly labeled by society. They call us unstable, crazy, bipolar, schizophrenic, antisocial, psychotic, and autistic.

An initiation may come in the form of a traumatic event, a break up, a divorce, a near death experience, the loss of a loved one, a mental breakdown, or an entheogenic experience.

Or it can be triggered by the unconscious behavior of others, perhaps being abused as a child or early in adulthood.

Those people in our lives who have hurt us the most are our greatest teachers on the medicine maker path.

Your teacher may come in the form of your parent, your partner/spouse your childhood crush, your sibling, your adored guru, your child, or a complete stranger on the subway.

Matt Kahn speaks about unconscious being the apprentice of conscious.

Perhaps these unconscious behaviors (of others) are set up for us to experience, to initiate us into our purpose and our unique medicinal gifts.

The process of honing our gifts and purpose might involve years of medications for the anxiety, anger and depression that these initiations bring.

Some of us are gifted with wide open sensory gating mechanisms...or channels...and we are able to perceive the shadow side of others and magnify and intensify their inner rage or dishonesty.

Our ability to shine a light on the ego...as an ego slayer...can result in the loss of many friends...family members...jobs.

This gift of the ability to perceive underlying motives or when others are acting out of integrity is just one manifestaton of enhanced perception.

We can actually learn how to use it in ways that assist us in making decisions, and healing ourselves or in helping others in our community.

We can use it to feel and direct subtle energy, to receive teachings from Spirit, or gain wisdom from plant or animal guides.

But first it helps to understand what causes a psychotic break, or extreme state.

"Psychotic breakdowns are important in many respects despite their painfulness, their scariness. They break apart old systems of belief at the foundation and force a re-evaluation of life, of one’s relation it, to the journey and the work that one is here to do."

~Stephen Buhner

A psychotic break, according to Buhner, stems from a traumatic experience or multiple experiences from childhood. During these extreme fear states, a child develops enhanced perception and altered neural networks in order to be able to survive. This is coupled with a fragmenting of the personality, where we develop an internal parental character whose role becomes a protector.

This protector shows up in our adult life, when we experience extreme states, as a paranoid and distrustful alarmist. And the individual will often retreat, disassociate, isolate, go into a freeze response, or perhaps hurt the person who is perceived as a threat.

Sometimes unfortunately this pattern and extreme state of fear can lead to suicidal or homicidal thoughts....or behaviors or repetitive actions that replay the initial traumatic events.

In order to begin to unwrap our gifts...we have to first see it as a normal reaction to an abnormal traumatic experience. We must recognize our innocence, and invite forgiveness of ourself.

Each time we go into this psychotic trance state, we can recognize it as such, and shift it by replacing the distrustful parent, with a comforting, loving, nurturing parent.

This new parent creates a foundation for our safety, so that our nervous system can finally rest.

The enhanced perception can then take us to other places in our reality field besides a place of fear, projection and protection.

We can learn to journey and lucid dream in our waking state and access profound insights that others may not perceive...sometimes from past lifetimes...or parallel timelines.

This initiation might take years of processing to carve us into a masterpiece, so that we can access our gifts without spiraling into despair, fear, confusion or distrust.

It may take finding a partner, guide, or therapist who can walk us through the darkness of the trance state, calmly and gently.

This is my calling...to assist those who have reached their breaking point and are ready to integrate and turn their wounds into wisdom.

Many times dietary/lifestyle changes, grounding techniques, and nature immersion can assist the initiate to heal on a physical and emotional level so that the "psychotic breaks" are easier to navigate and recover from.

Ultimately the medicine maker is able to hone in on his or her unique medicinal benefits, FEELING our way through the darkness to the other side...where all is well.

Maintaining a space of compassion for the self allows the sensory gating channels to remain open and expand even more.

We learn to.... feel it to heal it! We learn to expand our heart field to perceive more than ever...the quiet whispers of Mother Nature and our inner guides.

The feeling then becomes the purpose....and sharing the feeling of safety, compassion and unconditional love becomes the medicine-makers service to humanity.