Today I realized that I am quite self-centered, a revelation that took me by surprise. The voices of those dissatisfied resonate in my mind.
I have reflected on this on numerous occasions, Is this really who I am? I deliberately silence that thought, avoiding confronting my answer. The harsh reality is something that terrifies me.
I discovered that my soul finds happiness in the midst of the pages of a movie. Ideas are my escape, my tunnel.
However, I am not willing to abandon my world, as I have found beauty in the simplest things. I cannot accept that this beauty has faded. When the clouds resemble breadcrumbs, there are somber sunsets that burn like fire, and loneliness confuses and drives me crazy.
The stars in the sky are science fiction, and then every argument dismembers me. There is no such thing as a common moment, not when you love everything around you.
Today, I came to understand my own isolation. I want both things, but uniting these two worlds would require something akin to magic, something that seems unattainable. Where can I find that place where anything is possible? Where can I go in search of relief?
I sit in my living room, contemplating, looking out the window as cars pass by on the street. My cup of coffee has gone untouched for a while. It is now cold as I sink deeper into my thoughts. I watch the birds fly in a flurry, hoping that the answer will catch up with me. Just thinking does more harm.
How do I free myself from my ego? I eagerly await an answer that will come and give me the light I need.
Adios.....
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