NDJT Episode Two: Teasing You All Over

All Ye Randy Nigerians, hearken to me.

@mimy is holding a contest. There's prizes to be won, courtesy of @ehiboss and many other Steemians, laughs to be had, and shame to be shamed.

If you want to join up, just go to @mimy blog and find it there. Must I spoonfeed you link?

Without further ado, here's my entry

At what age did you have your first kiss?

I was a player mehn, even as a wee lad. I think I was like 8 years. My primary school foolishly left an uncompleted building within our reach, so we couldn’t let it go to waste😉. I carried my crush of that time back there, not even sure we knew we were kissing.

A few days later I heard she showed someone her pant😧

What is the cheapest gift you have ever received?

That will be second year university. I confronted one of my friends for not buying me a birthday gift, so she brought out a stick of Orbit (wait for it) put the actual gum in her mouth, then licked the paper and gave me. I think the worth of that is about -5 naira😑😑

What is the most expensive gift you have ever received from a partner.

A dope monkey vest with a shiny red back and a business minded black front. The market value was to die for.

It was also 3 sizes below me😭😭

Which would you rather go without? A comb or a wristwatch?

Don’t get me wrong, I love watches. But my hair quickly turns to “mad man couture” once I don’t comb it. So please, gimme comb.

After combing my hair I’ll use it to do shadow clock😎

Qualities of your ideal woman?

Be me, but don’t be me. Like eh, be me when I want you to be me, but then stop being me when I’m tired of you being me. I won’t tell you when I’m tired of you being me, but you should just kinda know when that time has come.

Basically how it is in cartoons, where their perfect mate is a female version of them, except my own version is almost impossible.

What would you do with one million naira

You mean 800k? Cos surely I must pay the guy who brought the 1 million his share😅

After that I’ll buy Mercedes 4mat... Sorry, forgot it was naira. I’ll make investment then, buy steempower and be forming whale 🐳.

Would you love to get married to a virgin?

How e take bash me? Just make a brother weak in the knees (Abi y’all think it only happens to girls? Issalie, we just no dey talk am)

Three names of girls and three guys who you think are virgins on steemit.

Hehehe, clears throat

@gunneresq, @idunique and @nevies (I’m not mad, it’s just joke)

All the crazy username, someone cannor tell girl from guy, @iamlisafi, @madambube and @yvonn (I’ll take my knifing in class)

Construct a sentence with the following words: Bed, prayer, God, Love, Bible, God, Suck, Sex.

Dear God, I send this prayer to you upon my bible that let my bed not break, and the sex be good; let her suck my soul out, and lemme nor hear SHISHI about love