It has been a long time since I woke up early and just sat down to write whatever comes to mind, but life has been a bit robotic recently, and somehow I woke up with the exact same headache I went to bed to avoid, so what heck, I guess. I decided today I might as well do things differently and try to make today different, perhaps that will help.
The pressure from within, that's the topic circling my head this morning. I do not know if it is a universal thing, or it is a thing with some people (I've never lived another life or discussed the topic before), but there's this pressure to perform in anything you're doing. And this is different from the pressure exerted from external sources, like your friends, family and so on. This one comes from your soul. The longing to be more than you currently are and the willingness to be better and achieve some form of greatness.
I recently noticed that I have been overwhelmed by this pressure. And when you let any pressure get the best of you, you start to make rash decisions. I made a lot of rash decisions and obviously got burned for it, leading to a sort of loop. Get overwhelmed, make rash decisions, get burned, get overwhelmed,... and so on.
I took a step back and realised I had to get out of this cycle. How did I get here in the first place? I remember some of my dreams from a year ago are my current reality. So why am I acting like I have made no progress? It's not easy to see in real time, but a lot of progress has been made. Sure, there's still a lot and a lot of progress to be made, but it is so hard to see that I have moved a few steps forward. And the only way to get to those dreams is to keep taking those steps forward. No rash decisions, no trying to force it, just to keep making progress. Writing, learning new things, coding, trading, improving on my personal relationships, stepping outside a bit more often, staying fit, playing lawn tennis.
It is only when you take a step back that you realise how far you've come, and though the journey still seems far, the only way you'll ever get there is to not let the pressure get to you and to keep trudging forward. Atleast that's what I am doing.
Cover image generated by me using Chatgpt
