To be honest, the short answer to this prompt is that I don't really have downtimes. At least not the kind of peaceful downtime people describe. Every time I decide that I am going to sit down, relax and do absolutely nothing, my brain immediately decides that it is the perfect time to remind me of everything I have to do. Suddenly, instead of resting, I am lying there thinking about work, responsibilities, things I haven't finished, things I should probably start, and about ten other things that were not even on my mind five minutes earlier.
That is why I sometimes struggle with the idea of true rest. My body might be sitting down, but my mind is still running around like it has somewhere important to be. I can watch a movie, but halfway through it I might start thinking about something I need to do. I can spend some time doom scrolling on my phone, jumping from one completely random post to another, and somehow spend an hour doing absolutely nothing while still feeling mentally tired. Sometimes I go on Hive or Ecency and read posts, write something or just see what people are talking about. I guess those are probably my versions of downtime, even if they don't always feel like actual rest.
Their is always this little voice somewhere in the back of my head saying, "You know you have things to do, right?" Of course I know. That is literally the problem. 😂 It is difficult to completely relax when you are aware of the things waiting for you when you get back up. I think that is something a lot of people probably experience as they get older. When you are younger, resting is just resting. You finish school, come home, lie down, watch something, play around or sleep and nobody expects you to feel guilty about it but adulthood somehow turns rest into something that needs to be justified. If you are not working, studying, earning, planning or doing something productive, it can sometimes feel like you are wasting time as if every free hour is supposed to be converted into progress.
But the honesty in all of this is that, we are not machines, sometimes you genuinely need to sit down and do nothing useful. Sometimes watching a stupid movie is exactly what you need. The problem is that I still haven't completely mastered that mindset and I think true rest for me would probably be the rare moment when I can sit somewhere without thinking about what I should be doing. No deadlines floating around in my head, No relationship problems and unfinished tasks quietly judging me.
I don't know if I have figured out how to do that yet or if i ever will but i hope that one day i will achieve that freedom to even rest well. I mean i have ambitions and i have responsibilities. There are things I want to achieve and things I still need to do, and I don't think that is going to change anytime soon. At the end of the day, what can we really do? We can only keep moving forward and striving. Life isn't going to suddenly become less busy just because we are tired.