Okay let’s be real for a second. In this world we live in today, it doesn’t really matter where you are to an extent, the economy is dancing with uncertainty and the topic of money has always been very sensitive irrespective of where you are, and the topic of borrowing money from friends is no longer just a casual conversation. We have all been there(I havent), in that you might be real desperate and youre looking at the contact list looks like a lifeline, but every name you scroll past feels like a bridge you are either about to strengthen or burn to the ground.
The truth is, for many of us, borrowing from friends is the ultimate survival mechanism, at leaste i’d like to think it is, ive never borrowed money from friends, siblings Yes, I have but Friends never. There is a specific type of tension for me that enters a friendship the moment money changes hands.. You go out for drinks, and even if your friend is the one treating you, you feel a weird guilt for enjoying a cold bottle of whatever when you’re still owing them. Or worse, you are the one who borrowed the money, and you accidentally post a photo of yourself at a wedding wearing a new cloth or dress. Even if that fabric has been in your box for three years, your creditor friend sees it and their heart skips a beat. "So, he has money for this but no money for my 50k?" That is how the seeds of "bad blood" are sown. There is an African saying that goes "Borrowing is the brother of begging, and the father of disgrace."
The disgrace doesn't usually come from the act of asking, asking is easy, it comes from the silence that follows when the payback date arrives and your mouth suddenly becomes heavy. One day they are your best friend, the next day their profile picture has disappeared, and their last seen was three days ago. This is where the social suicide happens, sometimes the person doesn’t fall for the emotional blackmail and asks/demands for their money back and the “friend” makes you feel like shit for asking, it becomes a “is it because of just money that youre pressing me like this?”
The irony is that the person lending the money is often going through their own struggle too. Your friend might give you that 100k not because they are buoyant, but because they value the friendship more than their own immediate comfort. When you then fail to pay back or worse, fail to communicate(ghost them)it feels like a betrayal of that sacrifice. It turns a beautiful act of solidarity into a cautionary tale. That silence or ghosting to me is even the most painful part. Even if you can only pay back 5k out of 50k, show that you haven't forgotten. It’s the silence that kills the vibe, not the delay. Ultimately, borrowing from friends will always be a double-edged sword. Giving my experience with lending people/friends money, I will not advice it or you can try it the first time and see if they keep to their word, at least that’s what I did. More often than not its not It’s never really about the figure, it’s about the respect.
