People come into our lives and our experiences with them are just phases of our existence, not the entirety of it all. Your life is bigger than one person and that’s the mentality to have in order to keep moving forward.
I know sometimes we want to see the best in people, but we can’t force someone to be something they’re not, or not ready to be. We can’t force anything to be true if it’s not.
Sometimes people are just great in our thoughts. It’s quite easy to ignore the red flags, especially with the butterflies and glee of a newly found connection. You look at this person and they fit perfectly into different pans and plans of your life. You want them around forever, or for a long time(forever is not a definite end in my mind’s dictionary. Forever is for as long as it ever can be).
For me it’s important to be realistic though spiritual and optimistic, realism is equally as important. There are a bunch of different things that can happen at any time which could cause a major disruption in our lives. We are not in total control.
Anyways, we want something so bad we fail to pay attention to our selves. We are so fixated on pouring energy and projections unto this thing, we try so hard to keep the boat rocking that we fail to see the persons involved. We fail to see this thing or person for what and who they truly are at the moment. We fail to see that they’re not on the same emotional and mental wavelength as we would want them to be and that’s okay if you ask me. We fail to see that we, aren’t equally what they need at the moment.
We can’t all be good. The design is such that there’ll always be the bad guy, the reaper in someone’s story. We need to learn to take people as they are and not project an alternate reality on them. And just as every other growth opportunity, it always starts with inner work. Listen to yourself, be honest with yourself, and learn to let go easily. When you listen to your own heart, you’ll also listen to what the other party is communicating. If something is not what you expected it to be then that’s okay. If someone’s principals and values do not align with yours, then let it be that simple. If it upsets or sets off your vibration then let it fizzle out.
Stop holding your breath, breathe out. If something isn’t working, and the parties involved are willing to be honest, accountable, and WORK things out then put in the effort if your heart pleases.
Endings are hurtful but that’s not all it can be. Endings though often unpleasant doesn’t have to be interpreted negatively. Endings and beginnings are two ends of a broad spectrum. New beginnings will tickle your mind and fill your heart with the rhythm of the stars, and if it ends, then that’s another part to your journey with this person. You feel the darkness, it’ll be nothing compared to your regular night darkness. I like to think of it as another dimension of morning and night, light and dark. I’ll give my heart and emotions to the dark as much as I did the light and shiny part of it. And just like the thrill of the beginning, the horror of the dark will come to an end too.
Time does it’s best to induce healing, it offers us space and opportunities to grieve, to mend our hearts and there’s no time stamp on that. You take the time you need and you feel, you absorb, you feel the pang, you feel the cruelty of loss. On some occasions, grief eats your entire mind up and you’re unable to breathe, it kills you to even imagine life without this person. But your mind will come around, thanks to time.
One day, you’ll look up, in awareness of yourself and you breathe out. And that’s your day one to the bright side. You continue to encourage yourself to step into the light, and because healing is not linear, some days will be gloomy but you’ve already planted the seed of healing, so you try again. And one day, you’ll become aware of how much lighter your heart feels.
And here comes another beginning, of something new and different and you go for it. Well, the impact of this ended situation could sometimes pop up on the memory tabs, and if it’s a sweet memory then great, if it triggers a bitter one then that sucks, but equally great too. But your life must go on. Time is a friend, and a mysterious too so you never know what next it’s up to. So it is not a perfect relationship, but we must all try to be reminded of the sunnier days.
I have come to realize that when I write like this, I am writing them as a note to me. I don’t take my own advice often, I mess up all the time and hurt myself more often than I should. Emotional maturity is easier said than done; but I want to be better, so I have decided to listen more to myself and I speak more to me through writing.
So, here goes another piece from a recovering hypocrite, participating in the 5 minute freewrite hosted by 