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I get this irritating feeling when I hear people judge or rate a person in a negative way, based on a general perspective. Generalization. Using a piece of information you got to scale the other person? I feel it’s absurd and needs to be stopped in anyway. Because someone my gender is this or that doesn’t make me the same person.
Before you rate someone especially in a popular term, get to know them first and see what they can be capable of.
Let me share with you a story, but a bit personal though.
I met this guy immediately I landed in Lagos after my final papers in school, 2018. He was ok, I mean well to do and I got attracted to him at first, primarily because of his kindness towards me.
I was a little lost on the Island on my way to a seminar. He met me and asked if I needed help, because it was written all over me. You know that "confused and lost."
That was how a total stranger left where he was going and took me almost to my final destination, and even when I resisted, he paid my way to the place. I appreciated that a lot from him. He asked for my contact, of course I gave him just to show how thankful I was.
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Fast forward to after some months of talking on the phone. He wanted to see me again and was requesting for a date. I agreed on the first date and last date with him. Yeah.
Now here is when the turn off began.
"Money. Isn’t that what all girls want?" These were his exact words as I began to wonder where all this was coming from.
Yes, everyone’s needs money. I need money, but you don’t throw it at my face because you feel others will grab every opportunity they have to worship your money. Those words triggered me and it was a big turn off. Before this, I noticed he was always telling me about his house, his cars and his job on our very first meeting. He even went as far as showing me his million naira salary on his phone. I was really shocked at this one, I felt insulted and irritated by everything. It just seemed like he had longed concluded that all women were some kind of puppet that can be bought with whatever price. What about getting to know each other? What about a million and one other things that could have made for a perfect date gist. But no, he had just somehow concluded that once he flaunted his wealth any girl would jump on him.
And when he noticed I wasn’t moved by all these, that was when he made the above statement.
What’s with this ideology that what every girl wants is your money? Like all girls just want are material things and that's it?
Something similar of such happened again very recently and I remembered this story that’s why I decided to write about this.
To me, respect, love and support should come first. Plus the connection and flow, and not some type of transactional conversation.
Finally, a single experience or whatever it may be shouldn't make one generalize in any context. There are still genuine people out there.
Thank you for reading and visiting this post.