Someone once told me that it’s 20% what happens to you and 80% how I react to it. It’s true. I let so many things lately make me act out of character. Like I said maybe it was the hurt , maybe it was the chemo, maybe it was all the emotions I’ve been feeling as a result of both.
I’ve always said if people feel guilt over what others say , then that’s on you. Then you must have a little bit of a guilty conscience. A person that has done no wrong, can’t feel guilty no matter how much someone says they are. So something to think about there .
I’m back to being me. Focused on my children, my health, my business. Everything else will just have to fall into place. If it doesn’t maybe it was never meant to fall into place.
I can’t put my energy into the what if’s , or what could have been . I can only focus on the now.
I don’t have any animosity towards anyone I ever loved or love. Like I said many times previously, when I love someone it’s wholeheartedly and unconditionally. You can hurt me, you can leave me , you can lie to me , I’ll still love you . I may not trust you , but I’ll still love you. I won’t turn my back on anyone I love. It’s just not in my nature. Maybe that’s a flaw , maybe that’s something I should do, but I can’t.
Anyway, I’ve had a good day so far, and hopefully it continues. I don’t feel so sick today. I even managed to go to the gym today. I had to modify and take it a little slower , but I got it done. Which in itself is an accomplishment. Just getting out of bed that early was an accomplishment lately. Lol
Just glad to stop dwelling on the past and the unknown. If he wants to be my friend and stay in touch , great. If not that’s ok too. If I get up to go to the gym, great. If I can’t get up , that’s ok too. I can’t dwell on the things I can’t control!
