Illusory promises suck. An illusory promise is a statement that doesn't actually promise anything, even though it sounds like it does. The classic example is, "I'll do everything I can to help you out." Sounds good, right? The problem is, "everything I can" may well turn out to be nothing at all. (Note: slick business people use this phrase ALL THE TIME, and rarely mean a word of it.)
Even though I had become aware of the falsehood of such statements long ago, I did not learn the term, "illusory promise" until I was in law school in my early 30s. For several years, even though I don't practice law, I found the term quite useful, at least to sooth bitter feelings by knowing the proper terminology to define the annoyance cast my way by whoever.
Lately, I just find being on the receiving end of this kind of bullshit to be rather boring. I mean, if the speaker wants to waste his/her breath, and they get what we used to call "a warm fuzzy" from spewing shit like this, well, that's their choice. I haven't fallen for this kind of lie for years, so it really has no effect on me now. I suppose there is a feeling that's akin to seeing some idiot on the street who used to bully me decades ago--- you know, the pain of being bullied subsided decades ago, but there's a lingering recognition of how pathetic the bully was and perhaps still is. It's kind of the same feeling I get when I hear someone telling me or even someone I care for an illusory promise.
Have I ever spewed out an illusory promise? No doubt I have, but not habitually like some people I've known. Have I done worse, i.e., lied to anyone-- sure, like anyone else. They tended to be what i though of as "white lies" for the most part, but admittedly, there have been a few times when I should have thought a little more about it. I'm not saying that illusory promises should be outlawed. What I'm saying is that the people who toss them out routinely ought to learn at some point that it really is meaningless drivel, and a waste of everyone's time at best, but a painful experience for anyone who actually believes them and suffers the disappointment of being let down by their illusory words, at its worst.
Talk is cheap. And based on what I've seen, the people who use these phrases the most tend to be business hot shots. That's the view from here anyway. Two of the most successful businessmen I know have been spewing this kind of rubbish for decades. I learned long ago, through experience with one of them to absolutely NEVER take this kind of blithering as having any value what so ever. Now when I have the misfortune of hearing these kinds of phrases, as I have recently, during the gear-up to fund raise for a new documentary, I just smile and nod, sigh, and move on.
