These pains of aging are heavy on the stomach. A couple of years ago I started eating healthy and became a gym rat. Unfortunately, I eventually came to terms that I couldn't afford the membership - especially when I stopped going for 4 months.
I told myself that I'll go back soon. That was 2 years ago. That's a loooong "soon."
I've since been gaining a lot of weight (not at my highest, at least). My body pains give me cause to not without, and yet I know that when being same pains decrease- or cease.
…It’s a cruel little loop, isn’t it?
The more I hurt, the less I move.
The less I move, the more I hurt.
And then there’s the guilt. Not just about the body changes, but about the promises I made to myself and didn’t keep. I swore I’d “get back on track.” I said it like it was some train I could just hop back onto. But time passed. Life got busy. Energy disappeared. And so did that version of me who meal-prepped and hit the gym four days a week.
Now, I get winded doing things that used to be warm-ups. My pain nerves are attacking. My back burns like there's a wee arsonist in there. And I miss feeling strong.
But here’s the truth that keeps me going:
I’m not broken. I’m just… in transition.
Bodies change. They age, they rest, they adapt. And yes, sometimes they get soft. They get tired. But they’re still ourbody. Still worthy. Still capable of coming back to life—slowly, gently, realistically.
I don’t need a $70/month gym membership to start. I don’t need to “go hard” right away. Maybe I just need to stretch in the morning. Walk a little further each day. Choose foods that fuel instead of numb. Take the smallest steps back toward strength, not punishment.
And maybe, just maybe, forgive myself for slipping.
Because this isn’t failure.
It’s just the messy middle.
And I’m still allowed to write the next part.
One walk, one ache, one weird little wobble at a time.
And so I have downloaded @Actifit again. It's been years since I was on @Hive, and by that it's be years since Actifit. I'm going to use the app as motivation fodder. I will start tomorrow. It's time to get back on track.
