I love you, watermelon (and honeydew).
Unfortunately you’re part of the ragweed family,
So every time I eat you,
I break out in hives epically.
I love you, milk (and all dairy).
You go so well in milk teas and coffee.
Unfortunately your proteins make me itch,
And your sugars make me gassy.
I love you, ice cream.
See above, same as all other dairy.
I sometimes cheat and still eat you,
But the consequent days are rather dreary.
I love you, nuts.
Nutty perfections of all kinds.
I’ve got pistachios and walnuts,
Dancing the waltz in my mind.
I hate these itchy weeping bumps,
But I do love you all - the textures, the tastes.
Unfortunately I had to stop eating you;
Not a good look, covered in Calamine paste.
As I get older, I’m getting more food allergies and they’re getting worse. FML. The photo is one I took of oysters at a restaurant (