To be great you have to pay the ultimate price of greatness because no good thing comes without a price. There are days that I doubt myself and wondered if truly I am on the right path. Other days I feel like giving up and to just succumble to the cold defeat of life by swallowing whenever that life throws at me.
Without a fight.
Picture is mine
I see women passing through life challenges and difficulties, most of them fought back while others got drowned and fed off of the leftovers of patriarchy and public opinion.
They will tell you what a woman is supposed to look like, dress like, when she is supposed to get married , what age she is supposed to give birth, how she is supposed to grieve when bereaved, how she is supposed to look after divorce or separation.
It's an unfair world of inequality against the women and feminism are branded men haters.
In such fragile time when I fear for the girl child , I came across the two stories of women who fought back and eventually won against life uncertainties.
Just when you have your life all planned out, the enemy will come knocking at your front porch. Zara won an American lottery and she travelled to American with her boyfriend of 3 years after a quick wedding ceremony in Nigeria. After two years of arriving in America everything turned sour for Zara as her husband turned into a beast. She tried to manage the situation but couldn't and eventually he left her when she was pregnant for her third son. She thought that it's going to be the end of the world for her as she didn't know where to start from. She cried her self to sleep everyday and eventually she picked up the pieces of her life and start afresh all over again. She focused on developing herself and today Zara just bought her second home in America. Her sons are all grown and her last son was 7 years old.
Another story was that of Kate whom the cold hands of death snatched away her husband when she turned 30 years old. She has three children and her last baby was just a year and half when she lost her husband. She became depressed as the reality of becoming a widow at such a young age dawned on her. Her family came to her rescue and she started seeing a therapist. As a young widow people try to project their own expectations on her and how to behave. Do not show yourself too much, do not talk too much and do not dress well. Dress like someone who is suffering and bereaved afterall you don't have a husband again.
She did fought against all these negative projections and it was a good fight.
She started a movement where she taught widows that they can still be what they always dream if becoming and never allow their situation to weigh them down. She advocates for them to dress very well and refuse to look like what the world want them to look like. Many called her names and labelled all sort of unimaginable things against her but they couldn't silence her. Her inlaws withdrew the help to her children but she looked them in the face and told them that they are not her God.
Today she is remarried to a very handsome man who took her children as his. She found love again despite the opinion that the public want to shove down her throat that it will be impossible for her to ever remarry again.
These stories of these two great women inspired me a lot that out of a sad story, a good story can emerge. It motivated me never to give up in life but to stay focused and avoid distractions that comes in form of public opinion. I am a better woman today because I was motivated to earn for the best and go after everything the world think that I don't deserve.