Some years ago, there came a guest at our home. She was a girl of around 20 years old. When she looked at a desktop computer at the corner of the room, she said to me, “Your brother would be the one using it.”
I replied, “No, it’s not only my brother who uses it. I also use it for my work.” Her reaction was quite astonishing for me. She was baffled to hear my reply. She was like “Do you really know how to use a computer? You really use it?”
Her response narrated me about her circumstances. In her home, she wouldn’t have seen a girl using any such devices and boys be the only one having the access to them.
I wondered such families still exist (in a metropolitan city like Karachi) that discriminate this much between a male and a female child.
I have heard stories of several other families where a male child is give priority over a female child. Boys are given better education and health facilities than girls.
Thankfully, I do not belong to such a family. My parents gave me and my brothers equal quality of education, health and food facilities.
Nevertheless, it cannot be said that I faced no gender discrimination in my home. I don’t blame my parents for it though. Some life events and societal pressures make us behave certain way. Our intensions are not to discriminate but to safeguard.
It was my gender that made me quit my dreams. I don’t think if I were a boy I would have to face the pressure that gushed me with the circumstances.
The time I married I was not really willing to marry. I surrendered to my parents’ will. They wanted to carve a happy life for me by following the standard of happy life designed by the society.
The standard for a girl’s happy life is to be a wife and a mother. These two titles are supposed to be the certificates for her fulfilment. So my parents wanted me to be completed.
I couldn’t go against their decision because good daughters are supposed to be submissive to their parents' decision especially with regard to their marriages. Else daughters are considered to be a cause of trouble for their parents.
Though I didn’t have an explicit pressure but an immense amount of implicit pressure. I quietly accepted whatever was expected of me. I gave up on my dreams.
Had I been a boy, I wouldn’t be stressed to be married without accomplishing my dreams. I could pursue my dream of becoming a psychologist and the joining some reputable organization for research and development.
Another thing about which I feel really discriminated is about driving one’s own vehicle. While boys are insisted to drive a bike, in my society it is not acceptable that women drive bike. (Though now a very small quantity of women has shown the courage to break the norm yet it is not acceptable among masses of the traditional society)
The inability of women to drive her vehicle limits her in number of ways. Being able to drive one’s vehicle saves time, money and energy in multiple ways. At times, I feel cramped just because I cannot go out on my vehicles as the men do.
When we talk about gender discrimination, it is often woman who is considered a victim. However, it is not always the case.
There are cases where men are also the victim. For instance, in cases of domestic violence and extra marital affairs it is always man who is cursed.
While the fact is that, men often go out for extramarital affairs because of the negligence and ignorance of wives. When the emotional and physiological needs of men aren’t fulfilled by their wives they search for the satisfaction in other relationship.
Likewise, I have observed cases where women are quite abusive to their husbands. With their poisonous doubts and conversations they make the home a hell. If it trigger a reaction from man, he would be the one to be labelled as cruel.
Gender discrimination is prevalent and displays itself in various shapes. Neither of its demonstration is productive for individual and the society at large.
Both the genders need to give respect to each other in order to make the society flourish in right direction.
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This is my participation for Hive Learner’s featured contest.
