I spent the entire day rewriting my script. I’m proud of the progress that I have made but I also know that I am not done. Thankfully, I have managed to maintain quite a bit of emotional distance and include other people in this project, something I haven’t done before, which has allowed me to remain detached and objective as big changes come into play.
I have some great characters, great songs and great dialogue but I am still missing that small elevator pitch summary that tells the audience what the play is about. Some of the scenes I have rewritten actually place the secondary characters in the forefront and my lead characters take a background. I need to shift this forward again but the process is grueling and my back is aching from being hunched over the computer all day.
I am considering allowing the direction of the script to move toward what is most interesting to the audience but I’m not sure which example is more intriguing.
Here are some examples of elevator pitches I am working on (all of these are actually what the play is about but from different perspective of main characters):
Whiskey Dixie & The Big Wet Country: A raunchy outlaw-country musical about a sexually frustrated cowgirl struggling to find love, sobriety and the meaning of life in a small town full of drunks and rednecks.
Whiskey Dixie & The Big Wet Country: A vulgar outlaw-country musical about a washed up rocker who inherits a bar, struggles to keep the love of his life and reconcile his differences with his narcissistic mother.
Whiskey Dixie & The Big Wet Country: A lewd outlaw-country musical about an over-educated bartender who is struggling to pay off her student loans, doesn’t want to be in a musical and has to deal with a bunch of fucked up drunks and perverts who are trying to ruin their own lives as well as everyone else’s.
My idea was originally for the first pitch but as the story progresses these other characters become very interesting and now I’m questioning who in fact is the star of the show. This is a problem that I am currently addressing.
I’m also revisiting Blake Snyder’s legendary book on screenwriting “Save the Cat.” This along with his 15 point beat sheet is proving to be very helpful and I’m actually very pleased at how close I am to the mark on these points.
Here they are for reference in case anyone is interested:
THE BLAKE SNYDER BEAT SHEET
- Opening Image (1):
- Theme Stated (5):
- Set-Up (1-10):
- Catalyst (12):
- Debate (12-25):
- Break into Two (25):
- B Story (30):
- Fun and Games (30-55):
- Midpoint (55): 10.
- Bad Guys Close In (55-75):
- All Is Lost (75):
- Dark Night of the Soul (75-85):
- Break into Three (85):
- Finale (85-110):
- Final Image (110):
All in all, I’m making lots of progress and feeling pretty good about the direction where things are heading. So many things to think about still and I'm afraid that my brain is a bit foggy due to lack of sleep and inadequate diet. I plan to take a short walk after this and hope the the fresh air and exercise recharge my brain enough to keep going. I am excited and want to capture this energy as long as I can without interruption.