Through its thoughts and its beliefs, your mind surely creates the world in which you live. It creates a world where all proof and experience point to the facts it has created and the fears you have accepted.
It creates the world in which you now live – where people don’t like you or don’t notice you; where your desires come with great difficulty, and your worries come all too easily.
It makes what you fear what you feel, and what you feel what you experience.
But despite whatever effect it may have on your opinion of yourself and your opinion of all other things, what is scariest of all is this, and it’s something that you must forever be conscious of, and always vigilant against: Your mind does not just find the proof to validate the belief it created, it creates the person upon which it can validate the belief.
It’s so important, that I will write it again: Your mind does not just find the proof to validate the belief it created, it creates the person upon which it can validate the belief.
Your mind does not simply convince you that everybody is watching, or nobody notices you; that some dislike you or that all know your greatest weakness. It doesn’t just tell you that the girl or boy will not like you, or that you will not and can not achieve your dreams. It doesn’t just restrict its harm to the invisible realm of thought.
It creates the person on which those fears would be true.
It makes it real in fact, in reality, in your life.
When the cute boy passes the large girl on the beach, her mind tells her that she is fat and that he cannot like her. It takes the simple truth that she is large and ties it to her fear that he will not like her. She need not even be large, as in the case of those with eating disorders. The reality is irrelevant. All that matters is the thought. All that’s important is the belief.
When the boy is gone, and she retreats into her mind, her thoughts then tell her that her weight struggle is hopeless. She’s tried to lose weight but it never works, never sticks, and never will. It’s too hard. It’s too much work. She’ll always be the way she is.
When she returns home, depressed and beaten by the experience her mind created on its own, from a situation from which she should have had NO opinion or emotion, she will eat to medicate her pain. She’ll eat to maintain her size – to grow it – to become the person who would truly never get the guy.
Why?
Because she BELIEVES she’s that person. And when you BELIEVE you’re that person, you ARE that person.
You become it.
And her thoughts win, because now she IS fat. She is that much less desirable, and that much more the person she imagines.
Her thoughts have created the reality upon which her fears can be realized – that the boy won’t like her, that she is too large for his tastes, that it’s too hard to lose the weight and too difficult to keep it off.
Her mind took a single experience, or collective experiences, in her past – a dumb kid who called her chubby, commercials or movies who portrayed the overweight girl as forever the bridesmaid, a mother who told her she’d never marry if she didn’t lose the weight, or even her genetics – whatever it may have been – and it created the reality upon which her beliefs would support her fears, her fears would create her experiences, and her experiences would define her actions. All of which were of its own design. All of which resulted in the reality she did not and does not want.
The murderer in the mugshot experienced much the same. As a result of whatever happened to him in his youth he acquired the belief that people didn’t like him; that he was different, that he was the outsider who could never get in. All because a kid picked on him when he was young, or he had a bit too much acne, or a small disfigurement, or poorer clothes. All because he had decided to believe that those things made ANY difference at all in who he was and could become.
But whatever it was – whatever crack in his confidence he had found or others had shown him – his thoughts used as the weakness necessary to destroy the rest, and it fed him the thoughts to reinforce the belief. His thoughts fed him this sorry soup of lies,and his mind grew stronger as his self grew weaker; starved of the esteem that would heal him and the empowering beliefs that would fix him.
As he withdrew from others – as his mind and thoughts led him to do – his situation worsened. He grew more awkward and more distant; more weird around others and more uncomfortable in himself. People’s reactions to him then became more repulsive, and their treatment of him and respect for him disappeared entirely. The name-calling grew worse, and the abuse only became more frequent. And no one else seemed to notice his torment. No one seemed to care. Because no one wants to even associate themselves with that type of depression and dysfunction.
And it became the confirmation of all his fears. It was the reality-come-to-life of what his mind had imagined. He had become the outcast. He had become the unwanted company; the disgusting man no one would talk to or show interest in, the one to be avoided and made fun, without shame or remorse.
His mind saw this and his emotions felt it. And it hurt. It hurt more than any other experience in his life and any experience he could then imagine; enough so and frequently enough that he soon and understandably became angry. Not only at those who had rejected him, but at ALL people. He began to see every person as contributive to the same cruel and unjust world, to the torment he had endured and the life he had lived, as he ceased to differentiate between innocent and guilty, between those who were to blame and those who were not. And as people continued to mistreat him, his thoughts told him: “See. There is the proof. No one could like you and no one does love you.”
His thoughts created the lie, and his thoughts created the truth. As he was, it was true…no one could like him. No one would love him.
And if he had ever previously paid no heed to certain thoughts – those that seemed too ridiculous, too desperate, too violent – he could no longer do so with any semblance of strength. He could no longer ignore the mind that had proven so right. And his mind’s solution to the problem – a solution once unimaginable – slowly made more and more sense.
Source:-www.thelastbrokenhome.com
Author:-Adam Alvarado Book :- Your mind is not your friend
Very good book,for full reading buy and read.i am big fan.
