My wife and I were talking. Would you rather die of starvation, or by freezing to death? she asked.
I didn’t even think about it. Freeze to death, hands down. I said.
I bet if you went outside right now, butt naked and sat on the deck-
It’s 16 degrees Fahrenheit here tonight-
after 10 minutes you’d change your mind.
Screen shot from the weather app, taken while I was outside.
Okay, make it 30! You’d change your mind. she said.
I stood up and started walking towards our bedroom.
Where are you going? she asked from the couch.
A moment later I emerged, naked as the day I was born.
…Not last winter, but the one before it, I spent the whole season practicing the Wim Hof breathing and cold exposure techniques. I’d take showers in our basement on all the way cold (and we’re on a well, so it could get as low as 38F)
I know it’s only 49F in this picture, I took this after installing that thermometer. Otherwise I didn’t really bring my phone into the shower. :)
…anyway I’d take cold showers in the basement and then go out and shovel snow in shorts and flip flops.
But the next year, last winter, I could hardly bring myself to take a cold shower. I could remember with sheer clarity, how good it felt to become one with the cold, but for some reason I was blocking myself from experiencing it.
So when this came up, though I stood naked and seemingly confident in our living room, firmly attesting that this would have no bearing on my decision, still I wondered if I’d be able to sit motionless in such cold temperatures for that long. I hadn’t trained up to it, hell I haven’t meditated in over a year, not on any consistent basis at least - I knew I wouldn’t change my mind about my choice, but I wondered if I’d be able to sit alone, naked and silent, for 30 minutes in the 16F winter air.
I went down to the basement where I sat on the floor and began my breathing exercises. I was in the middle of the second of my normal three cycles when she called down to ask what I was doing. Not wanting to damn myself to sure failure, I ignored her long enough to finish the second cycle. But, not wanting to damn myself to sure failure, I shorted myself the third cycle instead of continuing to leave her hanging.
I came up stairs and told her I’d done two of what would normally be three breath cycles, then I went out and set a time for thirty minutes. I sat down on the cold wood, the icy wind howled through the cracks and across my back. I set the phone face down by my side and tried to do the third breathing cycle, but i couldn’t control my breath enough, and the exercise made me feel more exposed. Instead I decided to go deeper within myself. I took conscious breaths and focused on the light burning within me, the light that keeps my body warm when I’m naked in sub freezing temperatures (🤣). I was shivering and struggling. I took a few deep breaths. I was not going to fail.
I tried the breathing routine again. I had more control. I did the breaths more aggressively than I usually do, I could feel it stoking the fire within me. I felt warm and calm, in a half lotus on the wooden deck. I looked at the phone. It had taken four minutes to adjust my body to the cold. I set it back down, closed my eyes, and focused on breathing in, and breathing out.
I heard my phone buzzing. It was my wife calling. You doin’ ok out there?
Yeah, I said, but I kinda need to focus my mind to keep my body temp up so I’m gonna get off here if that’s cool. Maybe put on the Golden Girls or something and check on me when it’s done.
I already did, fool! she joked. We hung up.
I checked the time before putting the phone back down. It had been 10 minutes, which was good, but all of a sudden I felt extremely cold, and another 20, for the first time tonight, began to look like a potentially dubious prospect. I cycled back through my breathing and got back to meditating calmly though. I passed through moments of calm, and moments where the hard winds ripped through and hit my body like a thousand knives.
Thy sense-life, thrilling to the elements-
Bringing thee heat and cold, sorrows and joys,
‘Tis brief and mutable! Bear with it, Prince!
As the wise bear. The soul which is not moved,
The soul that with a strong and constant calm
Takes sorrow and takes joy indifferently,
Lives in the life undying!
-Krishna to Arjuna, Bhagavad Gita
Krishna’s words came to mind, I breathed. The wind passed. My heart was calm, my body still…but after a few rounds of this I began to shiver. I cycled through my breathing exercise a few more times, then heard my phone buzzing again.
One of two attempts at taking a picture of myself out there
Hello? I answered, but of course I knew it was my wife because of how a damn smart phone works.
Ok, you’ve proved your point, come inside please, before you die out there.
You know, I said, at this point I honestly want to see if I can do this, just for myself.
She laughed, Ok whatever, crazy man.
The cold set in again and I dealt with it the same way as before. I reclaimed my awareness and brought it back to the breath, and began to warm my body again. It had been 16 minutes.
I watched as the moon passed through the trees.
Photo of mine from another post because I didn’t think to take a picture of the moon at the time.
At around 26 minutes, I had to leave the half lotus. My ankles were hurting and I was unable to warm my toes with my mind and breath alone. So I brought my knees toward my chest and brought my arms around my legs to hold my toes. I tracked the glowing moon for the last four minutes, my chin resting on my knees. My balls caught a lot of wind in these last minutes, but my toes were grateful for their sacrifice.
Next thing I knew, the timer was going off. I had really enjoyed the relaxing breath work and the inward dive that cold makes easier to find. I felt like I could go on if I wanted, but it was time to go inside. I think she would have taken it as sarcasm if I’d told her this, but I was really grateful that she’d presented me with that challenge - perhaps this year I’ll get back into my cold-work.
Anyway, that’s my story for tonight! If you made it all the way through, thanks for your time and attention - I hope it provided some entertainment value or something. If you’re curious about the Wim Hof method, I’d be happy to share more specific details about what I remember/what I actively use or used and/or links! (Although in the case of links, I’d just be Presearching “Wim Hof Method.” like anyone else can do)
…anyway yeah, thanks!
