Yesterday I found a note of a budget I created around one of the toughest periods of my life. In that note, I had written down a detailed note of how to survive on a daily budget if about $3. From that $3, I featured my transportation to and from work, breakfast and lunch. I felt really sad for the person I was at the time, because I honestly wasn’t living then.
After that tough financial hardship, I landed a job on a 2-year contract and started living large. I had forgotten everything my very recent situation taught me. As expected, after that contract ended last year, I came back to my senses and went back to living by plan again.
But I realized that this second wave of suffering taught me a lot of the foundational financial principles that guide my life right now. I’m still not sure whether why I learned from it was because you know, second time is the charm, or because I was a little older. Either way, I learned.
When I was going through this hard period last year, my friend was going through it as well. I recall telling him many times that I felt strongly that our current predicament was a phase for us to learn good lessons. Today, both of us are in much better positions than we were, and I just wondered if my friend was finding that period as impactful as I currently am.
Unfortunately, being poor for a long time does something to you. It sets your mind on survival mode, and survival mode is very hard to get out. What I’m referring to as survival mode is a deep fear that you’re spending too much, or not being frugal enough. And it makes sense because since you’ve constantly been in a state of lack, you want to protect whatever little you’re able to get, even if it’s not little and is enough to live comfortably.
What this can translate to is a situation where you’re earning significantly more, but you can’t allow yourself enjoy your money. You want to save more, invest more, or do anything other than spend some of the money you worked very hard to get, so that you can put serious distance between you and poverty. So you’re doing it for the right reason, but you’re just overdoing it. But you don’t see this. Only other people can. And you won’t believe them because trauma blinds you to what it is.
I have no idea. But what I think is even more important is how to determine when it’s safe and prudent to dial the frugality down.
I don’t make nearly enough to live comfortably right now, but I think I earn enough to be able to afford some basic luxuries I couldn’t enjoy before. Lol maybe this type of thinking is how I end up back in poverty. Do you see what just happened? This is what I’m talking about.
A lot of us have family members who are doing better than most, but who for some reason hoard their wealth. And because of this, we chastise them. What if it wasn’t that they’re stingy, but have just been poor so long before their big break that sliding back into poverty has terrified them into the stingy person you see them to be?
These types of things make you wonder what other things we judge people for that we simply don’t understand enough. For a lot of them, it doesn’t cross your mind the deeper issues that could be going on until you find yourself in that exact situation.
Well…this is definitely not the direction I intended this post to go, but that’s what we’ve ended up with. And if I keep going, this will become a very long post. For today, this is where I’ll leave you.
Sayonara
All images are mine. The two photos following each other first were shot and edited on an iPhone 14 Pro Max, and the last photo was shot and edited on an 11 Pro Max.
