Think of a past mistakes or embarrassments you could've avoided had you not realize the obvious signs that were already there in front of you but somehow eluded your notice.
After the incident, there's a post discussion, debriefing, a record and in comes a panel of experts or counsel that had the knowledge of knowing what you could've done at that time.
Prior to the event that ruined it all, your perspective was shaped by how much time you had to process the information in front of you, what you had available to you, and what you thought you knew was the best course of action.
I have a bias where people don't intentionally make wrong decisions. Any blunder probably started from an idea that made sense in the spur of the moment.
Post event, you get more time to analyze what happened, access to information that may have been obvious on record but not so during the moment it was all happening. How could you not see the obvious trajectory where things were going when you were in the moment?
In hindsight, it would've made sense alright. But this is a point I usually try to drive across when doing therapy talks for people that couldn't overcome the replays in their heads recurring over and over again. The regret of doing or not doing something when they had the chance gnaws them for years.
The damage can seem subtle or even adding some pessimism in the present or future. The self esteem gets affected because now you can't judge yourself doing things right because of a wrong judgment call in the past.
There's no one size fits all approach when playing around with this idea. One could intellectualize the concept to cope but some people need more ways to wrap their head around the idea that there are stuff they could forgive themselves. Healing isn't a linear journey from point A to B.
The Mind: I get it.
Also the mind: Even if I get it, I still can't help it
Just sharing one of the common issues I encounter in the clinics.
Thanks for your time.