While growing up, a lot of us were made to believe this stubbornness was not a good thing. The way they used to word “stubborn” until life showed me that it can actually mean two different thing.
Some time ago, a difficult period, actually, when I was trying to get one important architectural project I had at hand done. And I was also trying to keep up with other things too. Some persons around me were telling me to let go of the other thing while I focus on what is very important and in front of me. And I almost listened to what they said. Instead, in a stubborn way, I didn't let go of the other thing; I kept doing it in my free time or before I went to bed, even sitting with my phone and laptop when others were busy sleeping. It was not glamorous, to be honest.
There were moments when the only thing beside me was a snack I was yet to finish and my phone charging at 10 percent. But I didn't back down. At the end of the day, the other thing was something I genuinely enjoyed and paid off, not something I was trying to prove anyway.
On the other hand, that same stubbornness once worked against me. I was still working on a client's design when I was much more convinced that the idea I was working on was the right one. A friend corrected me on something I introduced to the design concept, but I took it so personally. Rather than thinking it through, I spent some moments arguing it out with him, and obviously, this idea needed changing. At the end of the day, when I was doing the 3D modeling, I had to redo and remove what I was corrected on because it couldn't work out. The painful part was not the extra effort because it was all part of the experience. But it was I had wasted so much of time simply because I required my idea to work out and I wanted to prove it that it can. But it didn't.
Right from that moment, I knew better, and can say that those two experiences have defined how I now view stubbornness. Sometimes refusing to give up is the only thing keeping you moving. Other times, refusing to change is exactly what keeps you stuck.
Tge distinctive difference between the two is just how uncomfortable it can get because the two can look alike from the inside. At some point, our mind can simply tell us to keep defending ourselves even when it's very obvious that we are the one at fault and we need to apologize and step back.
Now I know better, and when I feel the familiar urge to prove myself right, I always try to checkmate my thoughts and my mind if I'm actually doing what is right or I just want my ego to take over. Though it's not everything, I got the response I needed. But at the same time, I have gotten to realize that being stubborn at times can be useful, especially when it helps me with what is important. And it can be very dangerous, especially when it helps me to hold in to myself and listening to what others are saying.
Thank you for reading.
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