For as long as I can remember, I have always had a stubborn side but not the kind of stubbornness where someone tells me to sit down and I deliberately stand up just to prove a point... Mine is usually quieter than that.
Sometimes, I just make up my mind about something and become extremely difficult to move and honestly, that stubbornness has helped me more times than I can count but it has also gotten me into situations where I later sat down and asked myself, "Henry, why exactly did you refuse to listen?".. I think that is the funny thing about stubbornness...Sometimes it looks exactly like determination, Other times it is just pride wearing a nice shirt..
There was a period in my life when things were not really moving the way I wanted them to... I was learning, trying different things, making plans and hoping that eventually something would click...
There were moments when I seriously considered giving up... You know that stage where you are not exactly failing, but you are also nowhere close to where you thought you would be?.. That awkward middle.
You keep asking yourself whether you are actually making progress or simply wasting your time...
People around you may even start giving you advice...
"Maybe try something else."
"This thing isn't working."..
"Why don't you just leave it?"... And sometimes, they are genuinely trying to help but I remember being stubborn about one thing... I didn't want temporary frustration to make a permanent decision for me.
So I kept going.
I kept learning.
I kept making mistakes.
I kept adjusting.
I kept starting again.
I wasn't confident but I continued. .
There were plenty of days when I was confused but I refused to completely abandon what I was building simply because the results were taking longer than I expected and Looking back now, that stubbornness paid off... Not because everything suddenly became perfect, but because I learned something important about myself...
I discovered that I could survive periods of uncertainty without immediately running away from them..
Sometimes stubbornness is the only thing standing between you and giving up too early but then there is the other side of the story..
There have also been moments when my stubbornness made things unnecessarily difficult...
There were situations where someone gave me advice and, deep down, I knew they had a point but admitting that meant admitting that I had probably made a mistake and apparently, my ego had other plans... So instead of saying, "You're right," I would continue defending my position.
I'd keep pushing.
Keep explaining.
Keep trying to prove that my original decision wasn't wrong, Even when the evidence was already sitting right in front of me..... Eventually, some of those situations became worse than they needed to be and that one hurt differently because I couldn't blame anybody...
There is a difference between standing your ground and refusing to accept reality.. There is also a difference between persistence and pride.... Persistence says, "This is difficult, but I'll keep working.".. Pride says, "Even if I'm wrong, I refuse to admit it.".. Those two things can look almost identical from the outside but the difference is what happens when the evidence changes..
As I've grown, I've started trying to ask myself one question whenever I feel myself becoming stubborn.. "Am I protecting my purpose, or am I protecting my ego?".
Now that question has saved me from making a few stupid decisions...
I still haven't completely conquered my stubbornness... I'm not even going to pretend I have.... I can still be very difficult when I've convinced myself that something matters but now I'm learning that changing your mind doesn't always mean you are weak...
Sometimes it means you have grown and sometimes being stubborn is exactly what keeps you alive in a difficult season...
I think the real wisdom is knowing which one you are dealing with because stubbornness can either become the fuel that keeps you moving when everything tells you to stop... Or the wall standing directly in front of you while you keep insisting there is no wall..
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