Good day to you all. I am Pirate Q. The one and only Pirate that sails a paper ship. Don't worry about the paper ship sinking. Pirate Q never drowns. There is always a way out unless you feel there is no way out again. I believe in God, smart work, my phone, and my sub…
One day I will die. But I am still alive
Hmm. When I walk up to some people and ask them about death, some would say it's their scariest moment, and to some death is just inevitable.
Then where do I fall into? The scary gang or the inevitable gang. Pirate Q doesn’t have a strong mind to that extent. I can't welcome death now, No No. and I am also scared, but not so scared to that extent. So don't get it complicated. I am rather a middleman.
I know Pirate Q will leave the world someday and people will cry. But that doesn't mean they won't eat that very day. Even if they are to be served chilled wine on my grave, I am sure they will drink with cheers. So why bother about what people think about me?
If they like they call me stingy, selfish, lavish, prodigal, generous, they call me all they want. It won't change the fact that I will enjoy my life while I am still alive.
I remembered the day I was in school and I got only a thousand naira left. I knew I had classes all through that week, but immediately I got the alert of this money in my account. I went straight to a restaurant alone and got three wraps of swallow, and a nice vegetable soup with meat, fish, and cowskin. I also ordered a chilled Fanta.
After eating it all, I relaxed under the fan for hours before I went to pay my bill. And after making the payment. I was left with 50 naira for the whole week. Did I survive or not? But here I am today, still the same Pirate Q typing.
A rich man’s bathroom is a poor man’s bedroom.
In this case, let me take Pirate Q as the rich man. How can I be poor? No no!! A rich man’s bathroom is a poor man’s bedroom. How? I remembered the day I had to take my bath in a bathtub. It was my first experience, even though I tried so much to act rich, I was a failure.
I was directed to the bathroom and asked if I wanted a warm water bath or cold water. I told them I would handle this myself. Still acting rich, I saw the bathroom slippers at the entrance. Instead of wearing it, I stepped on it and opened the door. When I got inside, the first thing I sighted was the roof and the walls. This is nothing less than my room. When the floor tiles were too clean to be stepped on I went outside to wear the slippers again.
Where am I going to take my bath here? I was looking out for a bucket and a bowl. But all I could see was a bathtub, a water heater, and a towel. Would I get inside this or fetch water inside? How can a rich man like me not know what to do with the bathtub? I fetched water in the tub and took my bath before entering the tub.
Ooh. Wow! What a life. So amazing. After a few minutes of trying to swim in the tub, I realized I had woken up after hours of joyful sleep. Since then I promised myself “Pirate Q must be rich”
I won’t attend parties again
I don't like attending parties, especially all these Nigerian weekend parties. Like weddings, naming ceremonies, and all sorts of parties. If I am not invited as a guest of honor I won't even attend not to talk of tagging along with someone to that party.
My aunt asked me to tag along to a party of one of her staff at school. Her daughter was having a wedding ceremony. Yeah, the event hall was cool and the program was also entertaining. Everything was going on fine as usual, not until it was time to start serving food to everyone.
As a guest, I should be served alongside every other guest that attended the ceremony. And that is how it should be. I was hopeful and anticipating the food to get to my table because I was hungry and just trying to hang on. Yeah, it's almost here. I was about to stretch my hands to have one till I discovered they handed one to the person beside me and then skipped me over to the person next to me. Ooh. What's going on? I had to compose myself.
I focused more on the program till they finished eating their meals. That's nice. Then I began my investigation. Why am I exempt? I looked around and realized that everyone around me had a small hand fan on their table and they were all served. So the hand fan was like a food ticket. Since I didn’t have one. Then maybe I came to beg for food.
My aunt finally showed up and asked if I had eaten, I said no with the last breath in me. Till she went to get me food directly from her friend. I was the only one eating. So shameful. Since then I promised not to attend parties uninvited again.