I am either easily contented or have a high threshold for discontent. Given free reign over my life, I have gravitated towards consumption of literature, critical media and rest. I recognize and feel the creative powers inherent in my human form (made in God's image after-all) but have scarcely lived in any intrinsic motivation to exercise them. Each moment is complete, as it is, without any modification. Despite this feeling of completeness, it seems to leave the sensation of opportunities missed.
I am, in my home, my community and my world, surrounded by opportunities to bring forth the manifestation of my values: beauty, love, integrity, responsibility, resilience, wellness. It is easy to identify them, and satisfying to ponder them. The exercise of noticing these opportunities occupies most of my mental time.
I have, with the help of some skilled coaching , identified that there are distinct actors within my personality, all with their own motivations. Two of them are the Creative and the Practical. They have been living in discord, out of balance. Without any direct threat or urgency in my mode of living, the Practical has not been called to action strongly in my life. His input is largely to remind me that there may be something intrinsic in my man-hood that will, one day require me to take decisive actions towards manifesting my values (see above). The Creative, conversely, given no apparent responsibilities discovered it's ultimate mode of expression: daydreaming. Daydreaming, discussing, debating on ideas is the Creative's run-away form. Extrinsic motivation comes in sharing ideas, putting them forth and discussing their merits, intrinsic motivation comes from the pleasure of novelty experienced in synthesizing ideas. Actualizing these concepts only retards the Creative's satisfaction. This satisfaction masks the Anxiety of the unfulfilled Practical.
I am driven now by the curiosity of experiencing a more balanced satisfaction. One where the Practical and the Creative support each other. The method I will trial to unhitch myself from the existing habits of the Practical and The Creative will be to author, in advance my perfect day. Such a day will take into consideration the needs and strengths of both actors.
The day should include:
Creation, enjoyment, rest, care for others, learning, reflection.
Tasks on my mind right now:
Listing and discussing my interests, exercising with and training my dog, maintaining valuable friendships, cleaning my house, yoga, meditation, insulating my yurt, calling my father, sharing vacation photos.
My perfect tomorrow would begin peacefully, comfortably and with a contented excitement to see the day through. That feeling would be bolstered with a 20 minute meditation followed by breakfast and tea.
To replace my habit of aimlessly consuming books and videos, I would enjoy a film with my breakfast. This would give me 90 or so minutes to reinforce the motivation to leave the house.
To get my body moving, I would bundle up and take my dog to a new off leash park of a good run. Being well bundled and in my vehicle would provide a convenient opportunity to pick up required materials to insulate my yurt.
Coming home, it would be lunch time. While preparing lunch, I would call a few friends (Bry, Marcus, Chad) to catch up and ask to borrow some tools.
Between lunch and a 7:30pm yoga class would be an open block to either follow through with new plans with friends, read, and clean up the kitchen.
Coming home from the class, I will be calm and ready to do some more writing.
This perfect tomorrow promises to leave me fulfilled in action, in thought and in stillness. There has been room left for the unknown while providing a solid plan for some practical progress.
