A dating profile for Jack Off
by The Invisible Man

Source

Looking for the hottest, malleable skin around
I'd rather be in love than dead any day.

Hello lads and ladies!

I'm a slefish kinda guy, who likes nothing more than masturbating with the right person (or people, if I'm lucky - wink wink!).

None of my current partners understand me. I need to meet somebody special - somebody I really connect with.

The first thing people usually notice about me is my crued personality, closly followed by my smashing balls. You may find yourself awed by the callibre of my balls and penis. I will be sure to bring myself well-oiled to our date, so that you can appreciate my body to its full.

I work as a bum, helping myself. This allows me to exercise my skills: fondling and stalking. Dating me will be a little like dating royalty. I once saw Ira Fuse getting off a bus, and the paparazzi have been after me ever since. We'd better keep your kit on out of doors!

My life goals include:

• Meet Douglas Adams' ghost
• get jiggy with you
• Have a six-way date
• Become the best bum I can be
• Help myself in the world

If you're the right person for me, you'll be alive and quiet. You won't be afraid to run and will have a healthy respect for the unexpected.

My ideal date would involve self oral pleasuring in your closet with a sexy animal by my side. While we're there, I lick your malleable skin and imagine retelling the occasion to my mates.

I promise I'll turn up to our date looking good and smelling amazing. You'll have no personal hygene worries, and I hope I'll be able to say the same about you.

So long and thanks for all the fish.

Light me fire, babe

Jack Off

Thanks for reading,
The Invisible Man
@theinvisibleman