I looked at the guy I'd known since I was nine. He'd been my best friend for over thirty years, so I knew exactly what his reply would be. "What are you going to do with your cut, Len?"
Len beamed, his worries melting away. "I'm going to make sure Uncle Luke gets his operation in time. It'll mean taking out a mortgage on the house, but we'll manage."
I briefly took my eyes off the freeway in surprise. "Twenty-five thousand dollars won't cover it? How much more will it cost?"
Len crossed his arms, still smiling. "A hundred grand more. Way more than we could get by with embezzling, but with my share I'll be able to manage the bill now."
I gulped. "If I didn't need it to pay off the bookie, I'd chip in my share. But if I don't pay it..."
Len motioned across his throat in response, then nodded. "I know, buddy. This money is going to save your life too. If things weren't so desperate, I never would have crossed the line like this."
I nodded. I'm no angel, but I'm not a criminal either. I just got in over my head. As I cruised towards home, my mind drifted.
"I'm a good person," I reassured myself. Involuntarily, I started to reminisce about my childhood.
We weren't churchgoers by any means. Dad loved to spend Sunday watching sports, especially football. And whether or not she'd admit it, Mom loved playing hostess to his friends, their wives, and whatever kids happened to tag along.
And us kids had more fun than anyone else. If it was nice, we'd spend most of the day outdoors. We ruled the neighborhood on those days.
But on holidays, we would all get dressed up in our best clothes and make the short drive to Love Won All Baptist Church. I hated wearing a suit and tie, but I sure loved the treats the old ladies served after the message.
I'll never forget, on Easter morning when I was nine, the Sunday school teacher had us memorize a short poem. He promised us a special surprise if we could say it again after class.
Then he droned on and on about what the poem meant. The story wasn't bad, but he sounded so bored that I almost fell asleep.
Luckily I was third to recite so it was easy, and I got a huge candy bar. I still remember the words to this day. Weird the things that stick, isn't it?
"I've lied. I've done many other things that shouldn't be. I still get to go to Heaven, and be free. Because I have asked Jesus to forgive me. For my sins, Jesus died."
It didn't even rhyme all that good, but it sure stuck. Sort of like those jingles on the commercials, I guess. Anyway, it kept playing in my head for the rest of the day.
It was annoying, because every time I wanted to do something I shouldn't, I stopped myself.
That night, when my mom asked if I wanted her to stay while I said my prayers, I said yes. She had started the ritual as soon as I was able to talk. She said that it was something she grew up doing, and wanted to pass the tradition along to me.
I did the regular requests for the rest of the family. Then I added the poem I'd learned in Sunday school at the end.
When I opened my eyes, Mom was sobbing.
"What's wrong?" I asked, afraid that I had somehow upset her.
"Absolutely nothing. In fact everything is right with the world, Honey. Did you understand what you said at the end?"
I told her that I did, then proceeded to explain what it meant. She listened patiently, nodding encouragingly.
She smiled, with tears still streaming down her cheeks. I'll never forget the look on her face that night. "I said a similar prayer, when I was a teenager. Now that you've also made Jesus your savior, we get to be together forever in a beautiful place one day."
Then she turned off the light, and closed the door behind her. "I sure hope I don't keep thinking about that poem every time I want to do something I shouldn't," I thought.
Considering that it had already cost me an extra helping of cake, and a baseball game at the park, I was hoping that I'd forget it sooner rather than later.
I never really forgot it, but its power over me weakened over time. Especially when I started school that fall.
I chuckled, and Len looked up from his phone. "What are you thinking about, Flanderson?" he asked.
"I was thinking about when we met. Those bullies were making fun of my name, and you turned the sprinklers on, soaked them to the skin right before math class!"
Len laughed, then went back to his phone. I guess he wasn't in the mood to talk...
This freeway could put me to sleep if I wasn't careful. If only it wasn't a three hour commute. My mind began to wander...
I'm not a bad person, I just did what I had to. That poem is fine for kids, and those who don't have to worry about making ends meet. But this is the real world.
Between my bets and that scum Drexers blackmailing me for something I'd rather not talk about, my paycheck wasn't going to keep me alive.
The money I embezzled from a big client, combined with what I managed to get from a few colleagues who had also committed some embarrassing acts, would finally get me out of the hole.
I do miss Mom, but at the same time, I'm glad she'll never know just how much I messed up. Unless she's watching from Heaven, of course...
My eyes began to droop, then I saw it. In my lane, a car was stopped. I don't know if it broke down or what, but it hadn't pulled over. Then I saw the passenger side door open, and a girl of perhaps five stepped out.
I swerved hard, placing my car sideways between the stopped vehicle and the SUV in back of me. It was a split second decision, but the only thing I could think of that would save them without killing Len.
It placed me right in the path of the much larger vehicle, and I knew I didn't have a chance. I shut my eyes, and waited.
When I opened them, I didn't see anything. The world was pitch black.
"Uh oh. I guess I didn't make it. Can't blame anyone but myself though, I should have been a better person," I thought regretfully. I always thought I'd have time to change later, I never planned on getting roasted.
I waited, but I wasn't getting hot. It was just comfortable. Then I noticed a small dot of blue light, far away.
I began walking, and after what seemed like an eternity, I came to what I can only describe as a wormhole. Going through, I felt as if I were being stretched like a piece of taffy.
On the other side, I saw Mom. Cancer had taken her three years ago, and at first I thought I was mistaken. She would be in Heaven, not where I was sure to be sent. But then she hugged me, and I knew it was her.
"How did I get here?" I asked, in both wonder and gratitude.
"I'll explain after we get home. But don't you remember?" she replied, before releasing me from her embrace.
Unsure of whether or not she was referring to the poem or my last act as a mortal, I just nodded. I had all of eternity to investigate the details, and everything else too, after all...
Cover image made in Canva Pro using their gallery