I recall vividly a stage in my life where a clown actually put a smile on my face, and made me hold back onto life, he helped me see the world from the fun part of it.
I mean what's life without fun and color, this clown was indeed and epitome of fun and color.
I lived in an always busy City, filled with vibrant people going about their daily lives, there was this circus clown that changed my life in fact he gave me back the taste I lost in life.
at a young age of 14 I found myself being shut out from the rest of the world, I felt I will still under control, but I was slowly drifting away into something I would call depression, I was no longer enticed by fun gatherings, family picnics, going out with friends, I always wanted to be all by myself but most times I stay indoors all day without leaving the house, my mom would always ask what was wrong and I'll say I was perfectly fine I didn't want to give my mom much concern about the whole situation.
Slowly I started spending more time indoors, at school I was present in class, but absent-minded I started getting bullied orally by friends, they said I was a weirdo some said I had daddy issues and lots of others things they said, but I was barely bothered by their words though they hurt me, I lost friends due to this fact, the worst of it was that, I didn't know why, I started moving backwards until I started becoming a blurry and dark version of myself, now I was hardly noticed when I was around people.
I knew I needed help but I didn't know how to get it I just believed somehow, someday, I'll be back to normal again, this continued for days, and days turned into weeks, and weeks turned into months,
I stayed in that state for a period of 8 months until something tremendous happened.
I was in a school bus on my way from school headed for home there was a traffic jam so the bus came to a stand still, suddenly we saw people dressed colorfully sharing flyers and inviting people for a circus performance they were so promising saying it would be a lovely time for friends and family, I could still recall the colors on the lady's shirt who gave me a flyer of which I will reluctantly collected.
I arrived home and quickly got into my room I placed the flyer on my reading table then I just laid on the bed reflecting on the whole scenario during the traffic jam and I drifted off to sleep, I thought about it so much that I saw a clown in my dream shinny gold wig, an attire that was so attractive wearing a big bright smile on his face I woke up paying less attention to it, I thought of arranging my room because it looked really messed up, the next day came and I went to school I discovered that everyone in school was talking about the circus performance and how they would attend, I just couldn't hear the end of it while I was in school. At the close of school my friend Kayla asked if I was coming for the circus performance, I immediately said no to her and left for home.
The thought of how fun it would be, kept ringing in my head I saw the clown in my dreams more often telling me to stay happy, finally I asked my mom's permission to go for the performance she immediately agreed, I guess she felt I needed some fun too, she only offered to drop me off at this circus performance and pick me up from the performance, the circus performance was to last for 4 hours.
I started preparing for the circus and most importantly for the clown's performance finally the day came and my mother took me to the circus, it looked so colorful in there ,everywhere was well decorated with lots of ribbons and balloons of different colors, for the first time in 8 months I was so excited.
I had some hot chocolate and afterwards I had ice cream while I watched other circus performers do their thing, I danced and sang at the top of my voice my friends were happy I came, we all had fun together.
Finally the long anticipated performance of the clown came, I was at the front row since I arrived early, I saw him and he was the exact same one I saw in my dreams, as he took the stage he had the ability so absorb the sorrows, pain, and emotions in the crowd including mine, his name was Jade he insisted we call him that, he effortlessly wove a web of emotions connecting everyone in the audience in an experience of joy, laughter and love he brought healing to my spirit and uplifted it, the performance ended with so much joy I almost didn't want to leave but as the crowd dispersed I had to leave too and it was getting late,Jade the clown literally filled the atmosphere with so much spirit and unity.
after that day I had a reason to smile more and I saw this happiness and peace overwhelm my whole being, after all the clown was really all I needed to get back on track.