I Am Not Okay and It's Okay

Many people see us are just okay
They didn’t see the thousand scars we bear
Even the uncountable tears that fall
They saw our smile
But they didn’t know we are suffering in silent
Having unseen illness
People think we are just okay
People expect many things
Then they judge us when we are not able
They just didn’t know that we are sick
Or maybe they know
But they don’t understand
Yeah I know I am not okay
But that is okay right
At least I know that I am not okay
and don’t want to pretend that I am okay

Knowing that I am not okay is the beggining of my mental health journey. And the next important step is admiting that I am not okay. Trust me it's not easy to admit and accept that I am not okay.

Can you imagine how was my feeling when the doctor told me that I have Bipolar Disorder? If it’s you what will feel?

Believe or not that time I felt happy because I got the answer. For long time I was suffering with something I didn’t know what’s that. I always ask myself what’s wrong with me. I felt there must be something wrong but I didn’t know what happened.

So, getting the diagnose was much better than I didn’t know at all about my condition. By knowing about my illness I can know what should I do to be heal.

And now I realize, when I accepted my condition it helped me through my healing process. And you know what? Acceptance is the key.

It's like, "Welcome to the club! You may not have chosen to be here, but this is where you are!".
—Consumer

I know it must be difficult to accept our condition like when we don’t want to be at one place but the reality is that place is where we are.
I totally understand also if up until now you are still struggle to accept your condition. Because healing from mental illness requires a long journey of acceptance. We must learn to accept disability and learn to live with stigma.

We must learn to not hate ourselves for what we might perceive as weakness. Maybe we will even learn through the process of accepting our illness that what we thought of as weakness has brought us strength.

Accepting our diagnosis is the first step, and most likely the hardest one. Denial, anger, confusion, fear, and sadness might all precede our acceptance, and that’s okay! All of these feelings can be overwhelming, but it’s so important to remember that there is treatment.

So for every people outside there if you feel not okay, that's totally okay guys. Let's admit it, accept it and fight through the process to be heal. We can do it!