Well, it's been a rough few months, but I finally got another book to write! I've managed to keep my sanity with knitting and cupcakes, but I must say I'm very relieved. Freelancing is not for the faint-hearted!
Apparently, Americans and Canadians really take their summer holidays seriously, and pretty much nothing happens over that period - which explains the lack of projects available for the last few months. I suppose it's the same for us in SA. Our long Holiday is also in summer, but our summers are over Christmas. The whole country basically shuts down. In fact, most companies have it built into their employment contracts that a portion of your leave has to be taken during this time as they will be closed for business! This usually happens around the 16th of December, and you'll only get any hope of a response after the schools go back, so really only in February.
My Dr has had me start on some new nerve medication, which seems to be helping somewhat. I just haven't really been able to recover from my last fall in the rain when I had a pretty bad dislocation. Poor @zakludick and @aimeludick have taken over dinners. I did venture into the kitchen to bake for Zak's birthday, but that really took a serious toll on me. I have to be super careful.
I am looking at trying to get back into the system for another MRI, this time for my back too, so we can see what has changed. We're quite lucky here in Cape Town as we have two of the best teaching hospitals in the country. I first went through Groote Schuur, where Christiaan Barnard did the 1st heart transplant, but I might try to get a second opinion by going through Tygerberg Hospital.
I'm just waiting for feedback from my doctor.
I've had some awful night terrors and some resurgence of grief emotions lately, but the recovery time is getting shorter. I think that means I am healing?? Maybe? Thank you @zakludick for holding me so close when I can't keep it all inside anymore.
More like when everything happens 🤦♀️
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I have also been having pain incidents at about 2am in the morning when my regular meds have worn off. I've requested advice and stronger and faster-acting pain medication to deal with this, as it spikes my anxiety horribly.
Generally, my pain and anxiety are well controlled with my current doses of chronic medication, however, this is not always the case.
If I perform any activity that requires me to stand for 2-5 minutes or more, I have to find somewhere to sit, urgently. My back pain is terrible. This can be caused by standing in the queue at the shop, at the bank, at the pharmacy; it can be caused by attempting to cook for my family - which has now become the responsibility of my @zakludick and my @aimeludick, and while baking birthday cakes for the people I love, which is really my biggest way of saying how much I love them, I'm glad no one's birthday is coming up for a while. I always go the extra mile and make them as amazing as possible, but I can't even stand long enough to use the hand mixer.
I have to go to the Labour Department to check what has gone wrong with my claim next week and I am absolutely dreading it. They STILL haven't paid me out since being retrenched and after countless phone calls and emails, I realize I have no choice but to go in personally for the fourth time. I know I am going to suffer for this. Even a person with clear disabilities is forced to stand for exorbitant amounts of time. My @zakludick is taking the day off to help me and will bring a chair so I don't have to stand.
If I perform any of the above activities, I suffer TERRIBLY.
I injured my sciatic nerve when I tripped on the stairs chasing my cat (Squeek - who was under house arrest after an abscess burst on her face) without a knee brace on last year in September and have never recovered. It is now unbearably painful.
I have been experiencing the following for at least the last 4 months, since my last dislocation outside the pharmacy when I slipped in the rain.
It usually starts at about 2 am when my medication has worn off. I walk to the bathroom and am then struck by excruciating pain. I try to come back to bed and reposition my hot water bottle so that it soothes the sciatic nerve area as much as possible. I try this for about 45 minutes while my anxiety kicks in and spirals. I don't want to take any more medication because I don't want to run out of medication at the end of the month or take more than what is prescribed. Around 3 am I find myself sitting on the end of the bed sobbing into a pillow so I don't wake the children. I eventually take an alzam and a tamoltra and try to lie down for a while as they activate. I get absolutely no relief whatsoever and by this point, I'm in full panic mode. At 4 am or just before, I run myself a bath to soothe the pain and then administer a Voltaren suppository and rub as much deep relief ibuprofen cream on myself as possible.. My partner's alarm goes off at 4h30 am and then there is no way I can go back to sleep as the whole household starts waking up to get ready for school and work.
These episodes happen AT LEAST once a week, sometimes twice. The pain is really bad on a scale of 0 to 10 it's about an 8.5. The panic it causes is really, really scary. My thoughts are really scary.
If I stay bed-bound, I recover enough to go downstairs to make tea in roughly 3 weeks. I am very lucky that the bathroom is right in front of my bedroom door.
This does not happen every night and is not the same as the constant chronic pain I experience daily. It is excruciating and is definitely linked to exertion, specifically extended standing.
Let's hope that my Dr and I can put our heads together and come up with a treatment plan to sort this out. It's definitely not something I can deal with in the long term. Just grinning and bearing with it isn't going to cut it.
Please say a little prayer for me <3
Thank you so much to those of you who read and support this blog. It really means so much.