A Sudden Good Bye

It was on 1st May I was at Beluran on my dad’s house and since it was the school holiday my mum and I decided to go back to our home at Tuaran to visit my brothers. It was 350km away from my dad’s place.
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We reached our home at Tuaran around 4pm I guess. And my sister is law said they were coming back home too. So I went out again to runs errands that evening.

I received a call from my mum around 8pm something and she said “Please come to Telibong Gas Station hurry” and she hang up. I know something has happen. I also know it’s involve with my youngest brother, Adri but to us he is Yayang. Among us five sibling he was the one that always gets into trouble. I just remember the cracking on my mum’s voice. So I drop everything what I was doing and hurry to the location. I was 15 minutes away.

While on my way to the location I already can guess what had happened. But I not sure how bad it was going to be. “How is it this time” “I hope he did hurt so bad this time” “I hope he didn’t hurt anyone” “Oh it’s him. He can survive anything” that was playing on my mind until when I almost reach the location it hits me hard until I lost all my senses of emotion.

From police lights to ambulance even firefighters and rescue team is there not to mention the amount of people surrounding the area. I ask my boyfriend to park the car on the other side of the road and I don’t even think much just rush to the area. And there it was. The car his using was sideways hanging on a residents gate.

I really don’t feeling anything at that moment. I start looking for my mum and I feel a bit of relief after seeing my sister in law and my niece and ask her if she’s hurt. And again I was drag back to the emotionless when I hear her said he was driving alone she got the call too from someone about my brother’s accident. After I think about 30 minutes from when I got there I finally see them taking my brother out of the car. And was rush to the hospital.

Still emotionless I watch how my mum was closing her ears with both her hands when the emergency team told her to stay outside cause he had no pulse. So we wait and waited outside the emergency room for some news. And finish we got it. About 10pm The doctor who were treating him says that his in a very critical condition and ask us to be prepare for any outcome. So I was the one who had to make the toughest call to my dad. So I called my dad but he wasn’t answer. I had to call my 4th brother who were with him. And I burst into tears when I told him to come back to Tuaran. All I remember saying was “please come home. Come back here please now”. And the next call to my 2nd brother who was living in Johor cause of work and told him what had happened. I also chatted on our family group chat to keep praying for Yayang. Time really pass by slowly while we wait for more news. Yayang’s friends slowly shows up to the hospital to give us support. Family also turn up to keep us company. Almost midnight the doctor finally let us enter the emergency room. I really can’t describe the feeling when I saw him just laying there on the bed with all the things attached to him and what hit me the most seeing him on ventilator. Seeing that I know what the real result already but I still can’t believe it. And don’t want to believe it. Almost 1am Doctor finally decided to transfer him to Queen Elizabeth Hospital Kota Kinabalu.

I drove as fast as I can following the ambulance that took him. But when we got there again we were ask to wait. Around 5am the doctor ask the whole family to be in this room. It’s like a meeting room or something. We waiting there no one was talking. All of us was just silent. And on 7am the doctor that was treating my brother comes and tell us the news. The doctor described from the moment he was rescue he was having no pulse when he reach Hospital Tuaran the had to revive him and takes about 15 minutes to revive but his heart stop again and they have to revive him again and injected some medication to make his heart pump. He has several broken ribs, both pelvic bone is broken and few other I can recall cause I was still on my emotionless stage and zone out from time to time. And finally my dad ask “how is he” and the doctor just look down on the floor and say we can’t save him. I started to tried up again and ask can we see him. The moment I enter the room I saw him was fully covered and I hold my dad so tight cause I was scary my dad going to faint or something. I pull the chair that was in the room let my dad sit and open the cover. There he was my little brother laying down lifeless. I held his cold hands, his face his hair. I don’t actually remember what everyone was talking on the moment but my emotions was suddenly back. I was sobbing hard. We took turn to go in the room. While everyone taking turns. I was calling everyone that I could think of that had a deep friendship connection with my brother. Starting with my 2nd brother. I can hear my 2nd brother drop when I told him.

Almost a month pass by since the day he was gone. Everything still a blur for me. His only legacy is his two year old daughter, the only thing I have of him. Everything else will always have and forever with me in memories.

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The little brother that I would always protect and took the punches from. The one that will always gets into trouble but will help me the moment I ask. The naughtiest and can bring joy to everyone around him. The one who laughed on all serious matters. The one that will entertain even stranger.

I love him with all my heart. We don’t always see eye to eye but hey. Every siblings fight right. But we will always fight for each other. God bless his and his unborn child (my sister in law had a miscarriage 3 days before the accident). You both will always be in my prayers. Be at peace now both of you.

For my heart please be at ease. The pain and heart breaks of losing him still there. Just remember the good time and memories we ever had. Thank you all for allowing me to tell my story and express my heart away. Here’s some photos of us from our childhood and through out the year.

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Gone but will always stays in our hearts. Thank you for reading.

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