Hello everyone, trust we are all doing great. It is always a pleasure being here in this community of beautiful faces and beautiful minds. So this week, I will be sharing my views and thoughts on women and their finances in a relationship or marriage as prompted by @merit.ahama.
IS IT OR IS IT NOT RIGHT TO SHARE THE DETAILS OF YOUR FINANCES WITH YOUR SPOUSE?
Before I begin to air my views on this, I would first like to say that women have equal rights and standings in society and they can aspire to any height they choose. I want this to sink in because it is a fact and no woman should be demeaned in our society. I say this because I have seen many women subjected to a life of misery over finances.
The issue of how and if to reveal the financial States in a relationship is better left to both parties in a relationship.
I can say for a fact that the issue of dealing with finances is a delicate one as I have heard many tales and witnessed for myself, the betrayals, strife and dispute that occur because of finances. This extends even to kin men and couples who vowed to be there for each other and give their all to their partners, money caused a huge rift, promises got broken and even lives were lost. With this in mind, money talks is like walking on egg shells.
So is it right or is it not right to share financial details with your spouse?
My take on this is that there is nothing wrong in sharing financial details with your spouse,so long as loyalty and trust abide in the relationship.
I have come across this proverb repeatedly which says "different strokes for different folks". I think that this proverb sheds more light on my views about sharing financial details with your spouse. What might seem appropriate for one couple may not be considered appropriate by another and vice versa.
What about the various cultural beliefs and ethnic values that tend to shape relationship ideals, hmmm, the list is endless. I will buttress my theories with stories of diverse cultures I have encountered so far. Yes, when you hail from a multicultural nation such as mine, you tend to grow up accumulating wealth of stories to share.
There are some Cultures that actually place a ban on women earning money for themselves. All of her needs from the tiniest pin to enormous request are laid on her spouse,who can choose to fulfill or neglect her requests as he dims fit.
I also know of another culture where the woman must hand over her entire paycheck to the man without keeping a dime for herself. The man would then be the one to state how the money is to be used in the family. All this , without a reciprocation from the man with his own finances. The man becomes "Lord of all". Hehe.
Then we have other settings where financial responsibilities are split equally between partners. So you see, its different strokes for different folks.
My take on this is that I think it is right to share details of your finances with your spouse. What I do not support is abuse of such knowledge, manipulation of emotions and trying to get control of the other partners finances.
I also believe that discretion and free will be allowed to run its course in the relationship, with each partner respecting the other. For me I would advice that couples be honest and transparent with their finances and and work towards coming to an understanding of what part will be brought to the table, for effective running of the home. I believe it would do both partners good to have and keep operating their individual accounts while also having a joint account in which an agreed sum of money will be kept there on a monthly basis.
Due to so many heartbreaking experiences that I have come across over the years, having a joint account alone where all finance is kept is a deal breaker, I mean a no no no for me. Having a joint account alongside your personal or individual accounts is fair enough. The joint account should have its purpose geared towards promoting the family growth. I believe this would create financial security and stability against any turbulence in future while also allowing each partner in the relationship , do their own thing, when the need to do so arises.
I say this with all sense of humility that a woman who always waits for her spouse to get back and give her money to cater to her needs or the needs of the family before she can do so, will easily lose her worth and self-respect in the eyes of her husband but a woman who holds her own will be cherished by her spouse and will be regarded as being invaluable. Even the bible supports my theory in proverbs chapter 31 verse 10 through to verse 31. Such a woman is considered to he a virtuous woman or wife.
I will pen down restating my claim that there is nothing wrong in being open with your partner concerning your finances,only let wisdom guide you. Work towards the greater good of that relationship. This is my own little contribution to this week's prompt.
Thanks for reading......shalom