I need a vacation

Yes, I need a vacation, that's what I thought this morning. I know it's a bit early, because we're still in May, but time is relative and each of us has a different situation, or at least some of us have a somewhat different routine or not as usual as most.

In the event that you have the routine that you have, we all have times of greater stress, moments in which everything comes together a little, moments in which "extra" issues appear, news that will occupy a large part of our time, of our attention and our energy.

And so in the morning I had little energy, thinking about everything I had or wanted to do... plus what I couldn't control. You don't know who is going to call you, when, what they are going to tell you or ask, or what you are waiting for and need now.

Days like this in which daily tasks and obligations are almost relegated by new, additional and perhaps temporary ones, but with greater urgency they must be given a certain priority. How do we prioritize so many things?

Now it happens to me, in addition to what I usually do, I have a big project ahead of me, a vital project of change. Sometimes you have to make big changes although we know that the process will be heavy and complicated, but step by step. And so taking steps every day, we have already made important decisions, we have sold the usual house to move to another. Where? That's the question.

It doesn't seem clear, there is an abyss ahead, many doubts and unknowns... and much to see and much to learn. Because you learn, from the steps, from the paperwork, from the whole process and also from the delays, the inconveniences and the annoyances. But a part is almost over, now we have to go to the next phase. Better this way, in parts.

And it's a stressful moment, in which thinking and visualizing ourselves in other places becomes difficult or strange, and you go looking, meditating and you realize that… hours have passed! A lot of time goes by between looking, deciding, calling, waiting, going, visiting, coming back and thinking again. Surely some of you have experienced this situation.

At the same time there are other things that we can't leave behind, but we can't manage everything the same. I can't focus so much on writing, on spending as much time on platforms like this or others either. To comment more, to look at other things that I also have pending, and even to normal day-to-day tasks.

Actually, I just want to clear my mind and… lay on the beach! Fortunately beach is close here, I'm still looking for a little moment on the weekend to relax, but my head keeps going at a thousand revolutions. Even without going out, also at night, the mind continues to consume a large part of my energy, and robs me of even those hours of night rest. And then you have to wake up and continue with all the daily goals. The hamster wheel in these weeks goes faster.

Vacation is not just going to another place, it does not mean going on a trip or a cruise, but also that your body feels that it is in rest mode, that your mind can stop being alert to thousands of notifications, that there is no more pressure or deadlines, that we can focus solely on the here and now.

In being able to breathe, in walking without looking at the clock or the mobile, or the comments from anywhere. Neither waiting for phone calls, nor organizing meetings or visits. Simply being, doing nothing, watching something on television without thinking about anything else, or reading a book mindfully. Meditate, sleep, or listen to the sound of the sea...

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Image source (Unsplash.com by Chen Mizrach)

That integral zen state is what I want, which is not possible for now, but it will come. It doesn't take much, just to focus on myself again, to be calmer in body and mind. Not thinking at certain times. I seek and yearn for a feeling… the feeling of being on vacation.

Thanks for reading! Have a relaxing day.

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The text is mine ©Duvinca and the photo is from Unsplash.com

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