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“Have big dreams but focus only on what you can control: your own thoughts, words, and actions. This was Gandhi’s way … in the words of Buddhist poet Gary Snyder, our job is to move the world a millionth of an inch.” — Eboo Patel.
If there’s anything I have learned about life is that life doesn’t always go the way we want it to, and there will be things you can’t control.
If I may ask, “Is your life going the exact same way you’ve planned it ever since you were a kid?” I don’t know about you but for me, the answer is no.
It feels so safe to have everything under control, but thinking we have the power to always pull the strings can become problematic.
There are several problems associated with trying to control everything:
Trying to control everything around you in an attempt to regulate your anxiety will backfire. Your level of anxiety will increase in direct proportion to how ineffective your efforts to control the situation are. When you realize that you can't completely control the outcome, it may cause you to feel inadequate..
Worrying about things outside of your control saps you of your energy. Wishing things were different, trying to convince or make people do things your way, and doing all that you can to act as a superhero to prevent bad things from happening not only waste your time but also blocks your cognitive ability. It stops you from focusing on solutions to your problems.
Telling people what they should do or how to do things right isn’t likely to attract many friends. As a matter of fact, many who have control issues struggle to get close to people because they don’t trust others with any type of responsibility.
If you credit all your success in life to your abilities, you’ll criticize people who haven’t achieved the same. Most often, those who appear to judge others harshly are labeled as "control freaks."
If there’s anything I know about control freaks is that they have a hard time getting along with people and it can lead to loneliness because they feel irritable that others aren’t keeping up with their standards.
It is dangerous to think that everything is within your control unfortunately, people with control issues thinks this way hence they feel bad every time things go sideways.
You can’t prevent bad things from happening all the time. You might have the perfect plan, but that doesn’t mean it will always turn out the way you want it to be.
Have you ever heard this quote, “Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans?” It is a reminder that life can be so unpredictable.
You cannot anticipate or plan for everything that happens and sometimes all we can do is accept it as it is.
So my friend, do you waste your time and energy worrying about things you can’t control? If so, you have to learn to let go and get past the negative feelings so that you can move forward.
“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.” — Roy. T. Bennett
