#steem-jokes

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten Black and Blue. Doctor: "What happened? Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp. Doctor: "I

A steemian asked me why i upvote my own posts here on steemit, he was waiting for me to start speaking steem language and all that but i answered, "If Dstv can advertise Dstv product, to Dstv users

Question: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house? Answer: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your

Never ignore your kids!

Re-steem for awareness

A man is lying on the beach, sun bathing, wearing nothing but a cap over his dick. An ugly woman is passing and remarks "If you were a gentleman, you would lift your hat for a lady ..." He replies,

It is very important to have a woman who helps at home, cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. It is very important to have a woman who can make you laugh. It is very important to have a woman

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A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the results. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to

A man flying in a hot air balloon suddenly realizes he’s lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts to get directions, "Excuse me, can you tell me

Just a simple upvote will make me hop on your blog and follow you and upvote your contents. Follow @tumishobillson, and I will follow you back. Look up your name and let me know if I did not follow back.

What happens on SteemIt stays on SteemIt

A guy walks into the bar of a restaurant and goes to the bartender and asks "how much for a beer?" The bartender replies "$1". The customer completely amazed, orders a beer then asks

A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls

Johnny's first day in the first grade he comes home crying. When his mother asks why he replies, "The teacher told us to say our abc's and all the little white boys could say them and I could only

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar that reads: CHEESEBURGER: $1.50 CHICKEN SANDWICH: $2.50 HAND JOB: $10.00 He walks up to the bar and beckons one of the three exceptionally attractive

Three construction workers, the Italian, Chinese and the Blonde, are on the seventy-fifth floor of a non-finished building. The italian opens his lunch box to find a pizza and says "Man, if I get