This is a serious matter that must be addressed. How can you, a fellow Plankton, give 25% upvote? I mean, your 100% upvote is zero, yet you still set it to 25% to vote. You want to act like a whale. It's not that your voting power is low, but even if it's low, there is no difference between your voting power at 100% and that at 25%. Well done! Hippopotamus not only a whale.
Anyway, that's not the business of today. Today, I'd like to talk about churches. All these men of God who claim that God has called them and wake up to start a church with a ridiculously long name should go back and check if it was a flash you saw and not a true call because why would a church bear such a name as "Devil is in Trouble Salvation Ministries International? Perhaps God sent you the name via text message. It's not funny. There are so many ridiculous church names in Nigeria. In Fact! Nigerians, help me with some in the comments section.
It does not end with the church name. You need to see the theme of the programs held in such churches. You'll notice a beautiful banner advertising a 5-day program titled "My Village People Must Die by Fire." You might think you've seen it all until you see the one with the caption, "My husband must locate me before the end of 2023." In fact, I was driving home from work when I saw one with the caption "Give me a spouse or I die".馃槺 The insane part is that once thisprograms starts, the hall will be filled to capacity.
How many of you have had problems with an usher? Just indicate in the comment section, Let's know ourselves. You are either a member of the sleeping gang or the walk-about gang. I'm not one to nap during church service, but this particular Sunday I was exhausted because I had stayed up late Saturday night watching a movie. While the sermon was ongoing, my head was swaying in different directions, and this usher tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Sister, you are sleeping. Please wake up." I responded, "I am not sleeping; the movement of my head is the physical display of the spiritual absorption of the sermon."
It's not a good idea to sleep during church. I'm speaking from personal experience. The other day in church, the pastor asked everyone to stand for prayers. I dozed off while standing because the prayer was too long. I was dreaming about the food I was going to get after church at the eatery. I didn't realize prayer had ended and everyone else had taken their seats except me. My sister tugged on my clothes, and I thought she was waking me up to say amen, so I shouted "amen," and all eyes turned to look at me.
Pastors can be extremely dramatic. Which one is give to God a gift that will shock him? This was why Bro. Paul was excommunicated from the church. He did as the pastor said and gave God his refrigerator. The first member to try to open the fridge got the shock of his life.
Pastors can flaunt. When my pastor buys a new wristwatch or shoes, the topic of his sermon must be related to the new item he purchased. The sermon topic on the day he wore a new wristwatch to church was "God's time is the best." Throughout the sermon, he kept emphasizing God's timing, and each time, he pulled his shirt sleeves up and flashed his wristwatch, pointing to it. Okay! Pastor, we understand the message; it's a new wristwatch; may we now conclude?
There is just so much that goes on in church, but for now, just share this communion.
Until I come your way again,
Keep laughing!!!
Image from my camera roll
