Belief forms a part of our entire existence. It's hard to come by a village in Nigeria without any bizarre beliefs. I call them bizarre because they are things you hear and you wonder if civilization hasn't come, what our fate would have been. I can't imagine believing some of the things I've heard.
I'm from Oleh, a small town in Delta State located in the South-South of Nigeria. As kids we hardly ever travel home except there is an occasion which most times have to be burial. You wonder why death should be the major reason we get to travel to our homeland but don't fret, we don't die that often in my family 馃槂馃槂馃槂.
On one of such visits, we were driving past a thick forest when my mother in her usual proud way of showing off the rich heritage of her hometown started with a story.
"Children, look at this forest," she beckoned with an exciting voice. "It's called the evil forest".
I looked out of the window to behold the evil forest. There was nothing evil about it. It had so many tall trees with thick leaves and some of the trees looked like they were older than my great grandfather. The forest was thick and dark but I believed it was because of the canopy formed by the tree leaves preventing sunlight from passing through.
"What's evil about the forest mum?" I asked in my usual nonchalant way. I didn't ask because I wanted to know but because I just wanted her to taunt her. I've heard so many of these beliefs and I am actually tired.
Excitedly, she turned to face us while Daddy was busy with the car steering. "You see, my mother told me when I was a little girl that the forest is evil. She said that any man or woman who goes into the forest without the guidance of the forest keeper, comes out as an opposite sex".
My siblings and I burst into laughter. "Like seriously mum and you believe that? You mean if I go into the forest now as a woman, I'll come out as a man?" I questioned.
My younger sis couldn't control her laughter. She was laughing so hard that tears flowed from her eyes. I could see my mum losing her cool. She knew I was taunting her but I could also see the determination on her face not to lose this time to me neither was I willing to lose to her.
"So ..let's say I go into the forest now, my boobs will disappear and my Veejay will turn into a Penis? What about my bum? Will it become flat like that of dad?"
At the mention of my dad, the car came to a screeching halt and I knew I was in trouble
"Thank you for stopping my love" mum blew my dad a kiss. "As for you, my darling daughter", she turned and looked at me, "the forest is still here and since I have just one son, I wouldn't mind you becoming another son so I'll have two girls and two boys. Will you do us the honours of checking out if it's fact or fiction?
"Ermmmm....." I couldn't find the words. I thought of what to say and how to evade this situation that I currently found myself in but words failed me. My hands suddenly became sweaty and I could feel my heartbeat racing.
"You seem to have lost your tongue" Dad shot at me. "Weren't you just blabbing all over the place?" He looked at my siblings who seem to have suddenly no longer found it funny. "Any of you want to try?" You should have seen the speed at which they shook their heads.
"Dad, mum, you see, we are Christians and don't you teach us that light has no business with darkness? Going into that forest will mean associating with darkness and besides the Bible says that all things are lawful but not all might be expedient" I finished looking at both of them with raised eyebrows and crossed fingers.
Dad simply started the trip again and for mum, she continued her story. I breathed a sigh of relief. The belief sounds very funny and illogical but yours truly isn't about to be a lab rat. It was indeed a close call.
These things may have happened in the past or maybe they are just some folklore that someone told so many times until it became believable but I'm glad civilization happened and now we know better that some things are just simply impossible.
This is my entry into comedy-open-mic contest
This is my entry into comedy open mic contest
