I am familiar with loneliness. Loneliness is simple.
My phone barely rings. When it does, you can expect a friend calling because they need something.
I feel like a figment of my imagination sometimes. Like I don’t really exist. But I do. There are days when my connection to the universe is so light a breath from a newborn baby could dislodge me completely and I’d break off like a feather leaving a bird’s body.
I take great pride in running a one-man boat kind of life. I can and will do fine alone. I am a self-sufficient entity. I repeat to myself everytime it feels like I’m missing my friends and my social life.
Be alone. Fate will bring to you what is yours. I reassure myself. So many disappoints have made me curl back into my room in isolation, my protective shell and shield that protects me from the world.
Unlike most teens my age, I don’t do so much of socializing. I am not spontaneous. I like to plan things properly. And by planning things it’s repeating the same things everyday.
Bury my head in movies and books everyday, sleeping like I wanted to become the prince snow white. At some points I worry I might be depressed. But I wouldn’t even know if I was. This has become so normal for me
There are days I can stay in my room 2 days straight without anyone come in or leave the room. You’d think that was impossible wouldn’t you?
Most people consider me lonely. Even I do sometimes too but in my defense I stay alone by choice. I want to be alone. It protects my fragile heart and mind. It is not as bad as it sounds