I still can't believe it, or realize what happened. I went to the doctor's appointment, and when I came back... The door to my apartment was wide open. The edge of the couch and my laptop could be seen through them. The one I'm writing from. My first guess is that Nick needed something urgent, so I called him in a low voice. No answer. I shouted loudly - nobody answered. At that moment I think my soul just left my body. I was afraid to go inside, so I quickly locked the door with the key from the outside and called my husband. Deep down, I had a flicker of hope that he was the one who left the door opened and was still here somewhere. But no. I asked him if I'd call the police, but he said, "Stay there and wait for me".
While I was waiting for him, eternity passed. One after another, versions and scenarios appeared in my brain. I tried not to think about the consequences.
He literally ran. He got up running, unlocked the door with his key and ran inside. I was standing on the stairs and it seemed that I was not breathing and my heart stopped. I was expecting some shouts or swear language, but it was quiet. Then I finally went in. We checked everything, it seems to be in place.
Most likely, my return scared the thief. But why I didn't see anyone? Could it be ... a neighbor?? No one walked past me, except for the guy who lives here upstairs. Although he lives here recently. All this is very suspicious. Nick asked permission to leave the service (THANK GOD HE WAS IN KYIV!) and went to get a new door lock. I am staying at home. I still do not believe what happened. I try to understand what was it. Great luck, bad luck?
I slept very badly last night. I sleep with earplugs in, so I didn't hear the air alarm siren, but my sleep was heavy and intermittent. All night I dreamed of water, a big muddy stream. I was standing on the bridge, trying to fish some of my belongings out of the water. I watched as the water rose higher and higher and was about to flood the bridge.
That night, when I had so bad sleep for the last time, the Rashists blew up the dam of the Kakhovska HPP. So in the morning, I asked myself - what this time? It turned out that during the night, Russian rockets hit the residential building again, and there are killed people.
I'm still in shock. In fact, I went home with the idea of writing about something good. For example, about that maybe I finally found a doctor who knows at least one of the causes of my condition.
This flower represents peace for me. God, I keep checking the news, waiting for our counterattack. I long for the end of this war so much! Sometimes I just want to lie on the grass or on the hot sand, look at the sky and not worry about anything in the world. Don't be afraid, don't be ready for something all the time. Let go of all this knowledge and experience gained in 16 months and just live. To plan for the future, dream, make mistakes and stupid things.
Okay, I think I need a strong drink. Be careful. See you later.
