Hello again, Steemit. Long time no see.
Like the title suggests, yes, I ran away.
I ran away from here. Why? Because I felt scared and overwhelmed, anxious, not worthy of writing stuff. I felt like what I do and what I write, other people can do it ten times better than I do, and why the hell would I try? But that's honestly bullshit.
So, I'm gonna come back here and see what I'm made of. I'm gonna push myself, and I'm gonna create good stuff, good relationships, maybe try and make some friends along the way.
The truth is, I never really knew what to do in the beggining, and I didn't really want to try and talk to people, or spend more time logged in here. I preferred other types of social media, but why can't I dedicate as much time as I do to the others, to this one too? It's absurd.
I'm absurd.
I'm always afraid of something, I'm always not sure of something, but then when I do the thing, I realize "hey, that wasn't so bad, wasn't it?", so that's exactly what I'm gonna try. I've always had this problem with commitment and with staying, which has only gotten worse and worse with the years.
I guess I get scared of the immensity of things, and I just drop everything completely, relationships, jobs, sometimes even friendships, just because it all feels too much sometimes, and I don't like that feeling at all. But something has to change, and if I don't make myself do stuff, then I'm gonna continue with that problem all throughout my entire life.
I'm taking a leap, I'm facing myself. I'm slowly gonna come back, and build something steady with this website.
See you around, steemians, it's nice to be back.
