It can also happen that we always have the intention to take care of others, our family, our children, friends, in short, or we want to please many. Of course, if it is done voluntarily, it is by free choice, caring for people gives us great satisfaction and happiness. However, when it is done only to please others, leaving aside our priorities to the point of neglecting ourselves, we can fall into manipulation, it is done only to be socially accepted, the fear of being rejected and not knowing how to defend our own ideas and decisions dominates.
It is important to know that we are responsible for doing what is necessary to feel good, and to take care of ourselves first, this may involve knowing how to set limits, to say NO.
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At first it may be difficult, because you always offer your help to others, but not so much to you, it can exhaust you and even make you sick.
We must think that sometimes setting limits is good for oneself from the physical and emotional point of view. That is why it is healthy to cultivate self-love, this depends only on ourselves.
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Among the ways we can achieve this I can mention:
- To enjoy always choosing ourselves as our first option.
- Learn to say no assertively to those things and people that do not fulfill us without having to give so many explanations.
- Reflect on what we want and what others want.
- Learn to manage the feeling of guilt for setting limits for our own good and to handle the possible reactions of others to the No as your answer.
- Defend and prioritize our values.
- Do not take responsibility for others, this does not imply to stop providing help, only that we must identify if they only take advantage of us.
It is important to internalize that we are not obliged to do anything that goes against what we want, that saying no is a right that each person has and that sometimes we must change our way of thinking and acting in order not to be unhappy.