Very often I notice that the reasons of many disputes between people - not difference in their outlook or beliefs, but banal misunderstanding of the interlocutor. I.e. often people begin to argue in situations when their views of 90% coincide concerning a dispute, but one of debaters couldn't inform of the thought unambiguously another. Or the second hasn't so understood.
I have one acquaintance who at communication with strangers often make them lose self-control completely. And all that he likes to react sharply to the statement of the interlocutor, without agreeing with a form of a statement or any insignificant detail though usually in the answer occupies, as a matter of fact, the same position. But at the same time forcing the second party of a conversation to take a defense position, taking away usually a dispute subject from an initial subject aside. His behavior very much reminds trolling, but it does it definitely inadvertently. Most of his good acquaintances have already got used to a similar manner of communication and don't pay attention to it any more. But here the stranger should appear near him with high feeling of own importance and the conversation comes to an end with a fight.
One of the reasons of such conflicts – confidence in own correctness. But, sometimes, the cause of conflict is much more banal. Each person has own unique experience and knowledge which uses also at communication with other people. Including it concerns understanding of word meaning or phrases. Among us there are few experts in philology or linguistics. Most of people can't precisely and laconically state the thoughts. For this reason at all times good poets and prose writers were highly appreciated – in society what is inaccessible to all is expensively estimated.
Thus, it turns out that the majority of our statements tells in incomplete degree what we really wanted to tell. When you try to write all in detail, the analog of the legal contract most of readers drives in hibernation turns out. But there is more to come – on other end of the communication channel our statement is once again distorted. Words and phrases everyone perceives subjectively, depending on the baggage of experience and knowledge.
Here therefore happens that these or those our words cause absolutely different reaction in different people. It should be understood and accepted. Is it normal. If something is unclear, then it is always possible to specify, but not to rush "a breast on an embrasure".
Статья на русском: https://golos.io/ru--mysli/@yurgent71/neponimanie-mezhdu-lyudmi-eto-sovershenno-normalno
