One before and one after

I hope it lasts, I really hope we will last. But if we do not, that's how I want you to remember me curled up in you, listening to your heart beating and mapping your skin. Remember when I laughed at your jokes, even the worst ones. Remember the silly smiles with which he always looked at you. Remember how hysterical I was, thinking that someday I could lose you and cry at that moment, and also remember how you calmed me down when you held my hand saying that would never happen. And as it always calmed me telling me that everything would be fine and that if it was not like that, nothing would happen, that being with me everything was easy. Remember my happy and all my nonsense just to get your attention. Always remember all of our first times, or even before when we were so foolish to notice or recognize what we both knew was going to end up happening. And do not forget about all the future breads that we made, which are not few. And if this ends I want you not to remember the end. Remember the beginning. The first time you saw me or the first time you knew that I would mark "a before and after"