We've all been there before. Maybe you're on the way home from work and can't hold it, or maybe you're stopped for gas in a podunk town on a cross-state road trip. Either way, the only thing standing between you and bladder/bowel relief is a nasty gas station restroom.
With millions of rot-gut bacteria lining the walls and noxious smells wafting through the air, one must get in, get their business done, and get out as soon as possible. Survivalists have choreographed the perfect approach to stinky poo toilet rooms. Follow the steps in the image below for an ideal, semi-touchless experience that may save you a trip to the hospital.
While this method does require some semi-acrobatic skill, it will allow you to defecate and urinate without making contact with the toilet seat where, possibly, a bum sat all afternoon chewing down his toenails.