When will we meet again?
I was six. I could still remember my first time watching a plane took off. I teared up a little when my mum told me that my oldest sis was on that plane, going somewhere far away. When I asked her when she will come back, my mum had no answer.
Our home became quiet. That blue, plastic chair that she used to sit and watch dramas did not move an inch since she left and I didn't hear my mum nagging at night anymore. It was just me and my second sis when my parents went out to work and only came back late at night. We sometimes talked about our oldest sis while doing homework. What might she be doing? Is she having a good life? The overseas phone calls were expensive and we didn't get to talk even when our parents called. It was just "hello, I am okay. I have enough money. Goodbye" phone-call.
A few years after, my second sis said, "I am going off for college." My heart sank. Before I knew it, her table with piles of SAT papers and scribbled notes slowly buried under a layer of dust. Her presence in the house just faded into blurry memories. I would slipped into her Favourite pyjamas at night and felt a sense of pride since she would never let me wear it when she was around. Her voice kept echoing in my ears, "it's mine!" I wished I could hear one more time.
Every night I went to sleep, my heart ached a little. I lost my oldest sis who slept on my right and now, I lost the one on my left. The bed seemed a lot bigger and colder. I did not have anyone to play tug-of-war with the torn blanket when the weather got cold. Nor I had anyone to push me around when the weather got so hot to stay close to each other.
We don't say this to each other. But I miss them. I miss their scents. I miss our inside jokes. I miss how we told our parents when one of us was not studying. I miss feeling complete whenever we are together.
It has been around 13 years since my oldest sister left home. This winter break, we are flying back from three different countries to a place we call "home". A dream that I waited for 13 years is here now.
love******
