The ego is a wily thing, it deserves this and that, and will argue and rationalize, endlessly. But, if one focuses on inner/Divine dialogue, they do not complain to/of others.
As I grow older I recognize that guarding the state of our heart — preventing bitterness— is an important responsibility in life. Never mind, if we’ve been stabbed in the back, front or the sides, even by those people closest to us!
Below, is a dark, claustrophobic older poem of mine... I admit I’m uneasy revisiting it. But, slowly realizing to have less and less expectations of others, (so as not to be always disappointed when they don't pull through).
Also, if one occupies themselves with their own shortcomings, there is not much time/heart space to consider those of others...
Wishing you all a quiet, still and humble heart.🙏🏽✨
Lessons in Bitterness
Resentment is like drinking poison and hoping
it will kill your enemies. –Nelson Mandela
Some days it’s especially hard not to think
the milk of human kindness has curdled,
the same nights that all I could have said
ricochets in the echo chamber of my head
I’ll replay alternate scenarios or conversations
letting my good friends and dear relations know
in a few unambiguous words, just how I truly feel:
‘You’re false, jealous and, yes, a spiritual vampire.’
Or, I’ll read out my mounting laundry list of grievances
real and imagined, petty slights I pretended not to notice
Yet, I ruefully realize, that more and more of my affairs
are sorted in this state between fitful waking and dreaming
Until the ratio of fictitious exchanges outweighs
the sustaining, authentic communication I crave
and I wonder, before this metaphoric acid reflux
with its telltale regurgitation of all I’ve swallowed
Did I irritate my condition with undue expectations
or am I outdistancing past selves and associations?
Most likely both… but I also suspect this shedding
of itchy skin must conceal a nascent interiority.
If you enjoyed this meditation, I hope you will explore my books, here
