If you are after something in life, and not just what falls into your lap, not just the things that place themselves in your life, and don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with any way of life. But, for me, at least, I want that thing that I go get. There is value in that, accomplishment, self-value, self-understanding.
Sometimes you are that person swimming against the current. Sometimes, when you stop, to see who is with you, who has stood beside and swam against the river, you find yourself lone, a solitary figure, standing where you placed yourself. It’s not on others to use their life to validate yours. Some do, some make that their life, some will go out of their way to help others, to make sure they understand that they are not the only ones out there, the only ones who feel the way they do.
Sometimes. That is life. Those moments of deep hardship, where what you wish for, what you’ve sought and fought and scrawled, scratching for, is still beyond you. What does one do then? Where do you turn, who do you ask and what do you seek?
Self, yourself, self-introspection, self-involvement.
Something that I told myself, maybe it came from somewhere, maybe I read it, or was told; listen to wise advise, act wiser.
Inherent in that statement, is self thought. Self. Not the asking of another, not the relying of someone else to define you, your beliefs, your life, you.
For a truth, a hard truth, the kind that can cut to the bone, it’s a sharp cruel thing, this truth. Though it is simply a perspective, is that you are going to be the last one with you. Take care of yourself. No other can. It is easy to place this in another, in something, in an act, a habit. Its easy. It really is, to fall away from yourself.
It can come in a wave, this lonesomness. When all around seems to fail to understand you, where your efforts don’t yield you a thing, where your thoughts are full of those barb-like speakings, that’s a hard place to find yourself.
That is where you must accept yourself, for you have placed yourself there, none other controls your life, and if you fail to accept that, neither will you, and the only way out is, you.
