After waxing eloquent about how there’s this faulty box in my brain that analyzes regard data in a very skewed way, and talking all about how I need either a new box or an upgrade, it dawned on me, what if the box is a part?
A part, as in a living feeling part of me.
And here I’ve been talking about this part like it’s something disposable, something to just write off, to replace without a thought, or at best to simply overwrite its thinking process with a new software install!
Perhaps there’s a more compassionate way to to approach this whole thing.
There is no doubt that some kind of correction needs to be made. But… perhaps I’ve been quite harsh about it. And I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. The process has to start somehow and that’s how it started for me. But it might be better to not end it that way… or I suppose it might end badly.
My mind is more than some kind of object with interchangeable mechanical pieces.
I have no idea what kind of living feeling part this “box” might be. Could it be a hurting exiled child part? Perhaps one too afraid to speak for fear of being thrown away and replaced?
Could it be some kind of manager part that is only trying to help, only trying to protect me from worse pain and harm by basically telling me everyone (and I mean everyone, because it only takes one data point!) will eventually regard me as something the cat dragged in?
Could this part be repaired, healed, perhaps relieved of its burden and given a new job, one that is very much needed now?
Because the last thing I want to do with any part of me is regard it like it was something the cat dragged in!