Last couple of weeks I have been wandering down the path of divinity or enlightenment whatever you prefer.
Last week I think I found closure, but I had this nagging question.
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ - What Is Next On The Road To Divinity?
Now that I finally see glimpses that there actually is a Cosmic Plan, what is next?
Does this mean I am finally out of the human hell, detached from all earthly chains?
Of course, I am no expert, but the answer does not seem yes.
For years I have been traveling on this road out of hell. Blind at first, blind and clueless.
But I was not stumbling I was so clueless I ran around like a headless chicken bumping into all sorts of walls without even noticing.
That probably was the best time of my life, ignorance is such bliss.
I messed up when I started to get curious when I was fed crumbs of cosmic info.
I am still wondering which came first the Lady or The Book?
I know it does not matter, but when I try to think back I always doubt if I met her first and if it was her that sparked my curiosity or that I wandered into that bookstore first.
The bookstore was called Pleïade, the Pleiades are also known as Seven Sisters. It is an open star cluster containing young B-type stars in the northwest of the constellation Taurus.
Of course, my mind was prepared in the year before high school by the book The Satanic Mill (Krabat) also known under many other names.
The book was first published in 1971 and in an English translation first as The Satanic Mill from 1972 to 1991, then republished in 2000 as The Curse of the Darkling Mill, in 2011 as Krabat, and in 2014 as Krabat and the Sorcerer's Mill.
I guess a Satanic Mill was not what parents in the year 2000 would allow their children to read. Normally I am against these types of changes, but this book should reach as many children as possible.
Those who are not born to wander will not like it or not hear its message. But for those who are born here with the heritage, this book will awaken it.
Maybe Harry Potter does too, but to me, that boy with the lightning scar has always felt like the light version of the real book. But yes you can call me a purist or a Boomer whatever you prefer.
But after that book, nothing visible at least. Not until I was pulled into that little spiritual store in the center of Tilburg.
Until today I have no clue why I went inside, what pulled me in. I blame it on investigative journalism as that was what I studied.
This poor student went in and spent more on books than on beer that month. Now that was easy as I hardly drank beer, but you know what I mean Dear Reader.
Those first books were on animal totems and witchcraft.
Why I picked those first I don´t know but if I remember well I found those books before I found the Lady, or rather she found me.
Maybe I just needed them as a conversation starter, but that year things came together and I started my journey out of human hell.
Not that I knew that back then, I was just a curious investigative little lad.
It came in waves, but I don´t think I ever left the road. I only became more curious, and more investigative. At first, I was looking for proof just for myself.
I used to be an ignorant, non-believer, who needed to be reformed. An infidel is how I like to think of myself.
Looking back the road I went down looks so clear, but all those years it was hidden behind the veil and I stumbled forward. I fell, got up, kept walking, kept searching for I knew the truth was out there.
My conviction that I would find it was strong, because of her. She was a powerful mentor, I often wonder what would have happened if I had not met her. Would my believe in the cosmic plan have been as strong?
I am kind of sure it would not, I might have stopped walking a long time ago as so many do that lose their faith.
Meeting the Lady has basically changed everything, although I did not understand what she has shown me, she made me feel what I could not see.
Once something is seen it can not be unseen.
Once something is felt it can not be unfelt.
Where everything used to be hidden behind a veil, I now know that I have seen glimpses.
That I have received pieces of the puzzle and finally see how to start putting the pieces together.
Of course, there is no roadmap, that would be too easy. But they provided me with enough pieces to build some outlines.
To finally see where I am going.
To understand my role in this bigger plan.
To no longer ask myself why I am here.
There is still so much room for me to grow but I entered the realm of the seventh test, realization:
The realization that this life is not just a bad dream, that I have chosen this life myself.
That I went back here to this rock in the sky for a reason. That I chose the pain of being born and living in a physical body because it was part of a plan.
My plan? The Cosmic Plan? I truly don´t know those details and for now, details are the least of my worries.
After many years of worrying and trying to be in control, I now allow myself to let go, more and more.
Since I realized that I see the world behind the veil sometimes, that there is a plan I try to put my faith in it. Trusting that what I hear and see behind the veil is real.
The more I trust, the more confirmation I get. Yes, it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but if you have been walking this road for so long... always feeling like you are on your own, you don´t expect miracles anymore.
And when you let go, when you accept the road you end up on your own 34th street.
That feeling like you never fully felt like you were understood, and at the same time never truly understood the world around you.
When that falls away for the first time, and you look at a cosmic mirrored image of yourself. You see the most naked version you have ever seen, you are the most naked version you have ever been.
You reach to touch, and the cosmic mirror touches you back and it feels unreal. As for the first time, someone touches you like you wanted to be touched since birth.
That is when all the work, all the pain of being human and going down this road finally makes sense.
That is when you see beyond the veil and realize here on earth I might be weird and special, but that in this bigger universal picture, I am not alone.
Realization also means letting go of the concept of time, our minds might know it´s relative...but our human brains still struggle with that concept.
The Lady that changed my life, she was there only for minutes at a time. Maybe a few hours in my whole life, but still her footprint is like that of a Dinosaur.
Don´t confuse quality, with quantity, especially not when it comes to time. The biggest impacts do not happen over years. They happen in split seconds, in stolen hours, and if you are lucky a little longer.
Time is relative, especially when referring to the cosmic plan.
Time is the most valuable commodity when you have a body with an unknown expiration date.
That was why I was so surprised by my own mind, reminding me of Dead Poets Society this week.
It reminded me that I was finally ready for Carpe Diem.
To be more open, to let go of control, to trust the plan, to be like water, and to go with the flow.
2025, I have two words for you:
Thank Goodness you made it till the end Pees, Love and I am out of here!
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ - Who Am I Behind the Mask?
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ -Test 2 - The Sound Of Silence
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ -Test 4 & 5 - Having Faith In The Unseen In My Darkest Hour
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ - Test 6 & 7 - My Long Hard Road Out Of Human Hell
Mʏ Pᴀᴛʜ Tᴏ Dɪᴠɪɴɪᴛʏ & Eɴʟɪɢʜᴛᴇɴᴍᴇɴᴛ - What Is Next On The Road To Divinity?
