I definitely relate with this post. The part about nonchalance becoming a coping mechanism or a defense shield so that regardless of what may come, I can tell myself, "I don't care" even though, looking inwards, I DEFINITELY CARE. And while I do wish the world was a better place to me to embrace my overly emotional and sensitive side, things like this, friendship betrayal teaches one otherwise.

I once went through a friendship betrayal that hurt so bad, the only thing that got me through it was acting non-chalant, just like you said, not exactly sweeping things under the rug, but acting like, it's fine, it doesn't make me any richer or poorer, that same "I don't care", lol.

And while this thing makes us go back into our shell (especially for people that naturally genuinely find it hard to talk to people about their lives), it doesn't mean everyone is out there to hurt us. One takeaway for me those the experience is to stop expecting absolutely anything from people. Not loyalty, not kindness.

It's not nice, but that's life. Really sorry you had to go through such emotional pain. Sending you love and light. 🧡🤗